The Dark Kiss
by D3AD L0V3
Summary: Having met the Dark Lord for the first time, Pippa is in awe. But who IS Pippa? The daughter of two of Voldemort's most prized Death Eaters... But not who you'd expect! Now, Severus has come into the picture, and Pippa doesn't know what to do. Dive into darkness with the Dark Lord, or fly in the light with the Potions Master? SHIPS: Pippa OC /Voldemort/Severus
1. Her Master, Her Teacher

CHAPTER ONE

Her Master, Her Teacher

Oh, how _susceptible_ the human mind is! How easily a man can make a woman whither under his gaze. I promised myself, over and over, that I would never let that happen. How foolish I had been. The second I first laid eyes on him, I swooned. I nearly fainted. His skin, so deathly pale, his icy eyes as cold as death. Should this not scare me? Should I not turn, running and screaming? I knew I should be frightened. But I wasn't. I was awed.

The Dark Lord stood before me, his wand pointed straight at my heart. Was I to die today? Would I even care? Truth be told. If this excruciatingly dark wizard were to kill me, if I were to die by _his_ hands, I would be elated. I would be honoured.

The Dark Lord tilted his head, his pale face showing no hint of emotion.

"Your name, witch," he hissed.

A cold shiver ran up my spines, through my veins, setting them on a chilled fire. The pleasure of it all must have been clear on my face, for the Dark Lord's expression changed, becoming one of amusement. He studied me a while, circling around me. I could feel his gaze on every part of my body. My needle-straight hair, pale as the moon, my skin so white it could rival the dead's. My deep, nearly black eyes, large and luminous, my small, subtle nose, and my heart shaped lips that always seemed to be pouting, just like my mother's. His gaze lingered a while on the rest of my body, hidden only by a towel, barely large enough to call itself one.

"_Your name!_" Voldemort said, having circled fully around me.

"P-Pippa," I stammered, another round of ice fire blazing through my veins as he spoke, "my name is Pippa."

"I meant you _last_ name, you foolish child! What use to me is your first?"

I didn't mean to glare at him. It was rather stupid of me, actually, because within seconds, the Dark Lord had me lifted against the wall, the towel struggling to stay wrapped around my body. His hand was at my throat and his long fingers dug into my neck, the other hand still pointing his wand at me. But still, I felt no fear. I willed myself to be afraid, but I wasn't.

"Black." I croaked.

The cruel wizard ripped his hand away and I dropped to the floor in a heap, gasping for breath while trying to make sure the towel was still covering me.

"_Black_? That is not possible. The last of the Black name left with that fool, Sirius. He never had a child."

I tried not to glare at him again. Who was the idiot now? "Well, quite _obviously, _I am here, my Lord. I use the name black because I dislike my maiden names. _Malfoy, Lestrange. _They make me sick to my stomach!_"_

The Dark Lord burst into a wicked laughter. "That, child, is utterly impossible."

"What do you know of fidelity, my Lord?"

"What sort of question is that?"

"Fidelity. Faithfulness, loyalty. What do you know of it?"

"You test my _patience,_ witch!"

I stood slowly, wrapping the towel tighter around me. "I'm sure you're already familiar with _love_." I said the word as if it were a most foul thing. "How fickle it is. How love is easily manipulated, how it likes to stray." I tucked a moonlight strand of hair behind my ear. "My mother is Bellatrix Lestrange, and my father is Lucius Malfoy."

The Dark Lord didn't say a word. He simply stared at me, as if trying to place my looks with those of Lucius and Bellatrix. "Lucius and Bellatrix..." he hissed, mulling it over. "Why have I never seen you?"

With the wave of my hand, I transfigured the towel into something much less revealing- a floor length black gown with no sleeves that hugged my body perfectly.

"The daughter of two of my most respected Death Eaters who is able to do both wandless and wordless magic and I have never met you? How _old _are you?" Voldemort ran his wand down the curve of my neck, running it down the long portion of cleavage that was still showing. I was a show off . . . I couldn't help it. Besides . . . He seemed to like it.

"I'm eighteen. My mother thinks I am dead, Narcissa believes I am Lucius' distant cousin's daughter. Only Lucius truly knows the truth..."

As if on queue, my father turned into the hallway and spotted us, his hair exactly the same colour as mine.

Everything changed.

• • •

"It can't be her. I _killed_ her!" Bellatrix shrieked, her dark eyes blazing.

"I... I switched her." Lucius looked away from Bellatrix's murderous glare. "I knew you'd kill her the second she was born, so I'd prepared a polyjuice potion while you were still pregnant. I gave it to one of the dying patients."

"How...touching..." Voldemort hissed, disgusted. So was I. "But... I am actually quite glad that this happened. You see... I would like to take Pippa under my wing."

"WHAT!" my parents and I exclaimed.

• • •

A lot of what happened next is a blur. As it turned out, Narcissa had already figured out and put it behind her long ago. Draco refused to accept me as his sister . . . I really didn't care. My father didn't want to give me up. My mother wanted to kill me. But the Dark Lord had taken a liking to me.

"Not to _you_, you idiot!" he kept reminding me. "To your _abilities_. You would be nothing to me without them!"

I believed him.

And with that, the Dark Lord became my tutor in magic.

• • •

I was backed against a cold wall, the shoulder of my blood red sleeved corset smoking with the fire I'd just patted out. My chest heaved, and I was panting harshly. It was only ten minutes into my second lesson with the Dark Lord, and he'd already had at least three chances to kill me.

"You useless child! Where is that power I saw? Where did your abilities go? Or is transfigur-ation all you can do!" The Dark Lord flung another curse towards me, and I barely had time to counter it.

"Expelliarimus!" I hurled the spell towards him and he easily reflected it with a wave of his hand.

"You will never go anywhere with spells like that, Black!"

The anger was rising within me, replacing my exhaustion and fuelling my power.

"Crucio!"

To my deep surprise, the Dark Lord fell to the floor where he writhed under the power of my anger, my frustration. It wasn't long before his strength over powered mine, and he stood up again, a cold, malicious smile on his face.

"So, the little witch wishes to play with the unforgivable curses, does she?"

For the very first time, I felt fear. And I loved it. Until...

"_Crucio!_"

"Nghh!" I yelped, collapsing to the floor. Every part of my body felt as if it were being twisted, bent, burned. The pain was like nothing I had ever felt before, and nothing I would ever feel again. I felt the cold, wicked power that burned through Voldemort as he hit me with the curse, drawing nearer to me.

"Do not dish out what you cannot take, you insufferable girl!"

"I... I can- Ah!" I winced as my body convulsed harshly under the curse.

"You can? Yet there you lie. I could kill you right now. I could have killed you the second I met you, but I sensed your power. Where is it now? Why are you not using it! Get up!" The Dark Lord shouted, releasing the curse.

I settled as the pain left, trying to catch my breath. I slowly staggered to my feet. Sweat poured down my face, and I felt the need to retch, to expel everything from my stomach.

"You disgust me..." the Dark Lord spat, turning sharply and heading towards the door.

With a sharp flick of my wand, the door slammed in the wizard's face. Another flick and I forced him to face me. "This lesson is not finished." I growled, bringing myself upright.

The Dark Lord only grinned madly, raising his wand. "And now you try to_ control_ me? _Imperio!_"

I went rigid as I felt the Dark Lord enter my mind, taking control.

"Get OUT!" I shouted, mentally shoving the Dark Lord. His control was released, and he was sent flying as a wave of mental magic hit him square in the chest. The next thing I knew, I was standing over her, snakes coming out of the tip of my wand and wrapping around his neck. "I am_ not_ insufferable, I am _not_ a child, and I am _NOT_ foolish!"

"_Choke herrr..._" the wizard hissed in parseltongue. I gasped as the snakes from my out wand began to wrap around my thin neck. A small zap from my wand, and they retreated, but not before Voldemort had me pinned, for a third time, against a wall. His snake-like face moved close to mine as his arms blocked either side of me.

I pressed the sharp tip of my wand under his chin, stopping him from moving any closer. But, to my surprise, I began moving closer. I pushed myself off of the wall and closed the distance between me and the powerful wizard, my wand still pressing into his chin. The Dark Lord stood completely still, his icy eyes staring into my black orbs. And then, I did the thing that even my mother had never dared to do (though I was sure she'd always wanted to). I closed my eyes, and I kissed him.

The cold heat of his dry lips made every inch of my skin tingle. I opened my mouth and trailed my tongue over the smooth curve of his lower lip as his hands moved away from the wall and began crawling down my sides, feeling my every curve and-

I was thrown back against the wall, my feet a foot off the ground as the dark lord placed his teeth against my neck, biting into the exposed flesh, his nails digging into my hips as he held me in place against the wall. I couldn't help the slow moan that escaped my lips, and, within seconds, the Dark Lord had turned and thrown me against the floor. I would have a lot of bruises, but at that moment, I did not care. I could till feel the Dark Lord's lips on mine, his teeth against my neck, already bruising.

The Dark Lord had started to busy himself with discarding his robed when-

"My Lord, the bounty hunters claim to have spotted the Potter boy-" Lucius stopped dead in his tracks as he saw me sprawled on the floor, battered and panting heavily. "M-my Lord, perhaps you are being too harsh-"

"Father, don't embarrass me! I am fine!"

Lucius looked at me sceptically, his expression saying '_I'm embarrassing you?_'. I glared at him and stood up, brushing the dirt off of my tattered clothing, I used a stitching spell to repair it.

The Dark Lord acted as if he'd simply been readjusting his robes and grinned at Lucius. "She's good... when she's angry. I will be out in a moment, Lucius."

Lucius bowed and left the room, not before shooting another swift glance my way.

"We shall . . . continue this another day, Black."

And he swept out of the room, leaving me wishing my stupid father hadn't interrupted us.


	2. A Severus Complication

Kay, so here is chapter two... I hope you enjoy it, and please take the time to review! ^-^

CHAPTER TWO

A Severus Complication

I couldn't wait until the next time I would see the Dark Lord. His base was at my house, but, since I wasn't yet a Death Eater, I wasn't permitted to attend the meetings. I would have to wait a whole week for his next lesson. I tapped my wand impatiently on my leg, waiting for the meeting to finish so that I could perhaps catch a glimpse of him. Such longing burned within me, I was ashamed. I shouldn't want him like this- he was a powerful, cruel wizard, and I wasn't truly worthy of him. I looked up at the door as my half brother exited the dining room.

"Hello, _sister_," he sneered, making it evident he had come out just to annoy me. "waiting here for the Dark Lord? As if _you_ deserve his time! He hasn't even made you a Death Eater! But I-"

"You are his _pawn_, Draco, and that is all you will ever be to him. He recruited you so that he could gain access to Hogwarts-"

"What do _you_ know?" he snapped, ripping his sleeve up and shoving his arm under me. The Dark Mark stood out clearly on his pale skin. "You're weak, pathetic! Noth-"

Draco was hovering in the air, an invisible band wrapped around his neck. I stood underneath him, my wand pointed up at him. "I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly. Come again?"

"You bi-"

"Now, now, Draco . . . Unless you want to go flying down the hall, I suggest you watch what you say. I am a very temperamental girl."

"Put me down, or I'll tell my father!"

A high pitched cackle rose in my throat and I suppressed it, not wanting to sound too much like my mother. Instead, I snickered. "Crying for daddy already, are we? You're the pathetic one. You're a coward who is outmatched by his own sister." I lifted the spell and Draco fell to the floor with a grunt and a squeal of pain. "Now get lost, before I decide to finish you off!" I growled, throwing a curse at him, missing on purpose as he ran.

"Most impressive . . ." came a deep voice behind me. I turned to see a man with shoulder length black hair and dark robes staring at me with an amused impression. "You're Lucius' . . . daughter. Correct?"

"I am."

"Well . . . I think I'll be seeing much more of you."

I watched as the man walked away, wondering who he was.

"Piper!" Bellatrix Lestrange stepped through the door, her wild hair pulled up in a half bun.

"It's Pippa." I growled, turning away from the woman.

"Don't you walk away from me! The Dark Lord wishes to see you."

I turned back to see a hint of jealousy in her eyes. I grinned widely, stepping past her and into the room where the Dark Lord sat at the far end of a long table. The Dark Lord raised his wand and the doors slammed and sealed shut behind me.

"My Lord . . ." I bowed, never taking my eyes off of his.

Voldemort stood and walked towards me, his wand pointed at me. As if it were emitting some gravitational force, I was pulled towards the Dark Lord. My eyes traced every prominent vein under his skin as we drew nearer to each other.

"No more interruptions this time . . ." he hissed when we finally reached each other. He grasped my hair tightly and yanked, pulling me into a harsh kiss.

• • •

As it turned out, we were interrupted. My stupid mother obliterated the door to find me alone in the room, slightly dishevelled. Voldemort had disaparated the second he'd heard Bellatrix's spell. We hadn't even gotten past the kissing stage when she'd come in. My head ached from him pulling on my hair, and my arms were bruised from where he'd held me. I was pretty sure my hips would show bruises too. I ran my hands through my hair, brushing out the knots, and turned to face my mother. My lips were bruised with the harshness of the Dark Lord's kisses, my face red.

"I hope you're not foolish enough to have fallen in love with the Dark Lord." my mother said, a disgusted look on her face as she took in my appearance. "He only wants you to satisfy his . . . needs."

"And all I want is to satisfy him." I said, smirking as I brushed past my mother. She was right, though. I was being foolish. I barely knew him, and already I was throwing myself at him. I knew why. I was attracted to his cruelty, to his power. It drew me in.

Later that night, when I lie in bed, it wasn't the Dark Lord I thought about, it was that man with the dark hair. _'I think I'll be seeing much more of you'_, he'd said.

• • •

"Private tutor? Why?"

"The Dark Lord feels that your previous tutors weren't enough. He wants you to improve your skills." My father watched as I brushed my hair.

"But I passed my examinations- By wizarding law, I've already graduated-"

"He doesn't think it was enough."

I groaned, putting the brush down on my dresser. "Fine. But I'm going to hate it."

• • •

The next day, there I was, sitting in the guestroom-turned-classroom-for-two. My tutor was late, and I was sitting at my large desk, quill, ink, and books pushed to the side, resting my head on my hands. Then, the door to the side of me opened and in came the dark haired man I'd seen the other day. _'So _that's_ what he'd meant . . .' _I thought.

On the new chalkboard on the opposite side of the room from me, a chalk rose up and started writing. _'Professor Severus Snape,' _it wrote, _'RULES: Don't be tardy, No complaining, No food or drinks . . .' _etcetera, etcetera . . . Blah, blah, blah. Besides . . . Hadn't _he_ already been late?

"These rules do not apply to _me, _Ms. Black." Snape said, walking over to the desk, just to the side of the chalkboard.

"That's not fair! I could be sitting here for hours waiting for you to show up! And stay out of my mind!"

The chalk rose up again, and underlined '_No complaining' _sharply three times.

I rolled my eyes, and the lesson began.

• • •

After the end of the third 'class', I walked up to Snape's desk as he was packing up to leave.

"Why aren't you teaching me the dark arts? Or at least defence! All we've done for the past three days is potions, transfiguration and charms! It's boring, I already know everything!"

"Why must you _constantly_ complain? Your training with the Dark Lord is your dark arts, and defence. I've no need to cover that with you." Snape stepped around me and headed for the door.

I flicked my wand and closed the door, locking it. "Yes, but he doesn't _teach_ me. He just gets angry whenever I can't keep up . . . and then after he gets angry he . . ." I couldn't tell Snape what was going on between the Dark Lord and I. Or, rather, what _wasn't_ going on. We had tried, more than once, after my mother had interrupted us- But the interruptions just wouldn't stop! It was like someone was trying to keep the Dark Lord and I apart, and it was getting frustrated. On top of that, the Dark Lord had basically given up. He didn't look at me with lustful eyes anymore, just a sort of annoyance. Whether it was towards me, or towards the constant interruptions, I didn't know.

"That is not my problem, Ms. Black." Snape flicked the lock open and left the room.

With a frustrated sigh, I swished my wand and my things began packing into my sack. Sack in hand, I disaparated into my room and tossed my bag beside my bed. I sat down a,d grabbed my potions text, studying for the stupid quiz the stupid professor has _already_ decided to give me. I already knew all of this- but what else was thereto do but study?

I looked up as I heard a tap on my door. I set the book down on my mattress and opened the door with a wave of my wand. "Yes?" I didn't even bother looking to see who was at my door.

"You're going to have to give up more of your free time for school, and I will not accept any laziness in my class- You're going to have to work. Hard. No slacking-"

"Thank you so much!" I squealed, jumping up from my bed and running towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. A weird, warm feeling gripped me as I hugged him, making my breath catch in my throat.

"I'll have to add 'no hugging' to the list . . ." Snape said, his voice slightly nervous.

I let go of him awkwardly and stepped back, biting my lip and looking at my feet. "Sorry." I muttered, before looking back up with an excited smile. "When can we start?"

• • •

"That's not enough! You will never be able to keep up with the Dark Lord if you carry on like that!"

I was at Snape's house for my weekly dark arts lessons, and I wasn't doing to great. My mind was on the day before, when I'd had my lesson with Voldemort.

_'You are pathetic!'_

_'I'm trying!'_

_Voldemort scoffed, turning away from me with a disappointed hiss. 'You displease me.'_

_I don't know why, but I felt my eyes well up. 'I will become stronger for you, my Lord!'_

_He was in front of me in a flash, flicking away one of my tears in disgust. 'Words mean nothing to me, Black! YOU mean nothing to me the way you are! Our lessons are over. I don't know why I thought you would please me . . .' the Dark Lord disaparated from the room and left me there with burns up my arms, and slashes on my face._

I felt my arm. All of my wounds were nearly gone. My father had taken me to a hospital right away. I wouldn't have a single mark by the end of the day. Potions worked wonders.

"Pippa!"

I looked up as Snape called my first name, an apologetic look on my face. "I'm sorry, I'm . . . distracted."

"If you can't pay attention, this isn't going to work! . . . I know the Dark Lord has dismissed you as his student . . . but you're never going to get better if you don't give it your all. Now sober up, child, this takes a lot of concentration.

I nodded and wiped my eyes a moment before I tried to think of the happiest moment in my life. I thought of the first time I'd kissed the Dark Lord. I kept picturing it until I felt like I was back there, pushed against the wall with his mouth to my neck . . .

"Expecto patronum!"

The patronus shot out of my wand easily this time, slithering around the room. My eyes widened as I saw what it was, my mouth gaping.

The enormous, silver Basilisk whipped itself around the large room, hissing wildly. I drew it back, feeling suddenly quite weak.

"That..." Severus began, "will _definitely_ please the Dark Lord."

With those words, it was as if all my energy came rushing back. I felt like a child, jumping up and down and grinning. "You are _amazing_, Severus!" I kissed his cheek and hopped away. "Let's do that again!" I said, though now I was thoroughly blushing, realizing what I'd done. I looked up at Snape to see that his head was turned away. He cleared his throat and wouldn't look at me.

"That's all for today, Ms. Black . . ."

"I . . ." I frowned and turned away, thanking him before I disaparated to my room at the Malfoy Manor, collapsing on my bed.


	3. Please the Dark Lord, or Die Trying

CHAPTER THREE

Please the Dark Lord, or Die Trying

It had been _three days _since I'd conjured the Potronus charm, and I hadn't been able to do it since. _Magic can be so unpredictable_… I thought as I sat on my bed, tapping my bright hair with my wand. I stared in the mirror and watched as a new colour rippled through my silky hair with every tap. _Bored now_… I tapped my hair once more and it faded back to its original pale blond. Snape had suggested using my magic whenever I could, wherever I could, so that I would get used to the physical and mental drain, and build up a resistance to it. I would never convince the Dark Lord of my worth if I got breathless after a simple Potronus charm. _If I can ever produce one again_… I thought angrily.

"My Dark Lord… I only wish I could prove my worth to you sooner…"

I conjured an image of him on my ceiling and laid back on my bed, sighing contentedly as I stared at the image and thought of the Dark Lord wanting me. _Don't flatter yourself, Pippa. He'd sooner be with a mudblood than you, after you've failed to give him what he desires _more_ than once_. Voldemort's image vanished as my mood fell, leaving me nothing to stare at but the ceiling.

• • •

"How are your classes going?"

I turned to see Lucius standing in the doorway to the Malfoy Manor library, and wondered how long he'd been there. Seven books floated behind me as I walked towards him, before piling onto the large desk at the front of the room.

"They are too simple... I could charm a wizard to Azkaban and back in my sleep, I could make a hundred men fall in love with me with my love potion, and I could transfigure a dragon into a pixie in a second. I don't understand why I still have to take these classes. Even now, I've given you a beard, and you haven't even noticed..."

Lucius' hand shot to his chin and I giggled wildly. "There's no–" He began.

"Gotcha."

I thought it was hilarious, but my father thought differently. He just looked at me with disappointment. "Pippa, it is this childish behaviour that makes the Dark Lord question your ability to be a powerful, mature witch. You are eighteen years old, not seven! You should be studying, not wasting your time on laughter." Lucius picked up one of the books I'd picked out, and scoffed. "A romance novel? Honestly, Pippa, you spend half of your time dreaming, and the other have with this nonsense." He threw the book into the rubbish bin and turned sharply, leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.

"The other six are all on the Dark Arts..." I mumbled, leaving the room after my father, my books following after me.

"Your _father_ is right, you know."

Bellatrix was leaning against the wall outside the library, grinning.

"Poor Piper. Not the Dark Lord's favourite anymore, are you?" My mother laughed as she walked around me, her wand pressed against her lower lip. "You thought you could _be_ someone to him. But you're _nothing_. You're _beneath_ him, girl! You're beneath _me_. You aren't even worth the clothes on your back. I could kill you- but the Dark Lord has... _insisted_ that I should wait. But, if you displease him once more..." She was behind me now, and she ran her wand across my throat in a slicing motion. "_You're dead_." With a wicked cackle, Bellatrix backed away from me and did a twirl, disapparating and leaving her laughter echoing through the hall.

"She'll certainly get 'mother of the year'. She doesn't even know my name." I sighed, deciding to walk to my room instead of disapparating as I usually do. I needed to think. _Some of what she says is true_._ I am beneath him. But I am not beneath her_.

When I got to my room, I fell into my bed and took one of the books out of the air, watching the others float over to settle on my dresser before I opened the book and began to read. _I'll become the strongest witch he's ever seen_, I promised myself.

• • •

"I've decided that this is the last day of your lessons."

Severus Snape said as he walked into the room to begin my classes.

"W-what? But I need to learn more about the Dark Arts-"

"Your full day training will begin tomorrow."

At first I thought he'd just decided to give up on my like the Dark Lord had, but when Snape mentioned full day training, I jumped out of my seat and squealed in delight. "You're amazing! Wonderful, brilliant, exceptional, all of the above…!" To say that I was excited would have been the understatement of the era. With full day training, I could put all my attention into improving my skills for the Dark Lord. No more sleeping through classes, no more studying useless things I already knew.

"Ms. Black, if you stop jumping up and down, we may continue with your last lesson..."

"Oh, can't we just start full day training today? Pleeeaaase?"

"Stop acting like a child and SIT!"

Shocked by his outburst, I sat in my chair and stared at him, wide eyed.

"We will definitely have to work on ridding you of that childish behaviour... if you are to be a Death Eater, it will not be tolerated. Do you understand?"

"Yes, professor. I understand."

"Good, now today we're going to star with..."

I zoned out as professor Snape droned on about transfiguration, thinking about what was to come tomorrow. _This is going to be grea_–

"Pippa!"

I bit my lip and smiled guiltily as Snape glared at me, and I began pulling out my things and preparing to actually pay attention for once.

• • •

_The Dark Lord grinned at me from across the hall, beckoning me forward. My body acted before my mind and I stepped towards him, walking at first, before I began to run. I ran straight into his cold, strong arms. I pressed my lips against his and, savouring the chilling, electric feeling I got from the connection, moaned into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around me and crushed me against him. With the snap of his fingers, our clothes disappeared and–_

My alarm clock blared on the desk beside me, and I groaned, picking up my wand and pointing at the stupid thing.

"_Confringo_." I muttered. My alarm clock exploded, thousands of pieces flying all over the room, the annoying sound no longer interrupting my dreams. I suppose I could have just used a silencing charm, but I _really_ wasn't thinking about the mess. I was trying to grip at the last fragments of my dream, which were disappearing way too quickly.

I sighed in frustration and sat up in my bed as the last bits of my dream slipped past my eyes. Even my _dream_ close encounters were interrupted!

"_Raparo_." I swished my wand at the tiny pieces and they lifted, forming together to recreate my alarm clock, and then returning to my desk. A small twinkling caught my eye and I looked down, frowning as I sae a small glass figurine of an owl about to take flight. It had fallen and broken when I foolishly destroyed my alarm clock. It was the first and only gift I'd ever received from my father. Even though I thought Lucius could be a complete moron, I loved him, and I treasured the tiny owl. He'd given me the owl the day he told me he was my father.

At first, I had hated it. I'd thrown it against the wall dozens of times, but no matter how many times it shattered and fell to the floor, it would repair itself. Once I had found the perfect charm to get rid of it for good, I couldn't bring myself to use it. I watched now as the tiny owl glowed a soft pink, and all of the pieces came together, every feather in its place. Then, it took off, soaring around the room before coming to a stop on my desk.

"Pippa…"

I drew my eyes away from the owl and found Lucius standing in the doorway. He was smiling, something he seldom did nowadays, as he stepped into my room, and I realized he'd been watching the whole time.

"I don't always blow up my alarm clock in the mornings, I just–"

Lucius laughed softly as I stumbled for an excuse, and soon I was laughing with him.

"You're just stressed." Lucius sat down beside me on the bed and picked up the magical figurine, running a figurine along on of the wings.

"Why would I be stressed? I'm not stressed." _I'm totally stressed._

"You've started full day training with Severus, Draco's always on your case about how the dark lord reject – oh, very well, don't glare at me like that – _neglected _ you, and your mother is – well, she is Bellatrix Lestrange. Must I go on?"

_Well, you could say that I'm sexually frustrated and depraved _... "No, I get it. I'm a bloody mess…"

"Now, now, you are not a mess… simply stressed/ Anyone would be in your situation… I've failed the Dark Lord myself, as you well know… It has changed me."

"I know."

We looked at each other then, and smiled. _Our first true father-daughter moment,_ I thought. It was something I wasn't used to, but it was strangely comforting. Lucius had always been distant with both me and Draco. Everything had always centered around the Dark Lord, or the Ministry of Magic. _This could be a life changing moment–_

"I hope you can win the Dark Lord's favour again, Pippa… I would certainly hate to have to disown you."

_Well, that was very short-lived, _I thought, watching as my father put the figurine back in its place and left the room. _At least he tries… I think_.

• • •

"AH!"

I gasped as one of Severus' curses hit me in the arm, the bare skin instantly beginning to bubble and swell. We were five hours into the sixth day of my full day training, and neither of us was winning. On the first day, I'd been ready to give up within the first hour. Now, I couldn't even think about giving up. I was determined. I needed to win this more than anything, and prove my worth to the Dark Lord as soon as I could.

"Pippa, you need to rest." Snape said as I stumbled past another one of his curses, preparing to throw one of my own. _I must look dreadful,_ I thought.

"No! I can do this!"

Severus was limping, and blood trickled down the left side of his face, matting and drying in his hair. He needed to rest just as much as I did, but he nodded and raised his wand again. "Let's continue, then."

I smiled, pushing myself to move faster. _I need to win this… _I thought over and over again, trying to keep myself going as I deflected curse after curse. _He sends them so fast, I can't keep up…!_ Sweat ran down my and I wiped it away hastily, deflecting another curse. Then, in one quick moment, I was sent flying backwards, the front of my shirt burning away from the heated impact.

"Ngh!" I clenched my teeth as I tore the singed fabric away from my skin to reveal an angry red, blistering burn across my stomach. Snape was hovering over me then, offering to help me up.

"No!" Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I struggled against the pain. "I want to keep gong!"

"Pippa, you can't keep up with those wounds…"

"YES I CAN!" My frustration and anger bubbled up and exploded out of me, knocking Snape back and trapping him against the wall. I walked up to him slowly and knocked his wand out of his hand with a quick wave of my own. "I won…" With those two words, the room began to spin, and I let my magic hold on Snape drop before I collapsed, trying to catch my breath.

"She has bested you in her anger, Severus."

_The Dark Lord! _I would have stood up and bowed, had I the strength.

"She'd quite a powerful witch, my Lord. I have no doubt that she would be a great asset to you. Especially if she can learn to focus her anger and frustration, and turn it into pure energy… She could become nearly unstoppable."

The Dark Lord smirked then, before turning and adding with a small hiss, "We'll see".


	4. Power, Greed, and Jealousy

CHAPTER FOUR

Power, Greed, and Jealousy

_I actually did it. I've impressed the Dark Lord again,_ I thought as I leaned against the dining room table, waiting for him to arrive. The day after the Dark Lord had walked in on my training, he had demanded that I meet him here, after supper. I chewed my lower lip nervously and smoothed out the beautiful midnight blue dress I had put on just for the Dark Lord. I'd already been there for half an hour, but I would wait as long as I had to for the breathtakingly powerful wizard. I would do anything for him. Serving him was all that I had to look forward to in life, but I didn't mind for a second. I was devoted to him, and would forever remain devoted to him.

"That was quite a duel you and Severus had, Black..."

I smiled brightly as the man who was subject to my devotion appeared before me, wearing his usual, smokey, tattered robes. The power that filled the room at his appearance set my heart on fire and my thoughts racing. _Will he finally mark me as a Death Eater? Will he give me my first task? Will he challenge my new power? Or will we... _I pushed my scrambled thoughts away and tried to calm the erratic beating of my heart as the Dark Lord approached me. _He is the epitome of power. He is everything I want..._

"My Lord..." The greeting rolled of my tongue as if it were the very thing I was born to say. I curtsied as the Dark Lord came to a stop in front of my, grinning slyly as his fierce gaze travelled down my face and along the large portion of my cleavage, expertly exposed to him. He motioned for me to stand, and I did, shuddering as his hand caressed my shoulder, and then ran down the length of my arm. Gasping as he tore the sleeve of my dress from my arm, I closed my eyes, and the Dark Lord dragged his thumbnail down my bare skin, stopping about two inches above my wrist. "Nh!" My eyes shot open as the Dark Lord pushed his sharp nail deep into my arm, blood quickly pouring from the wound. Red and hot, the blood dripped quickly down my arm, and took his wand and pressed it into the deep wound. I winced at the pain, but stared in wonder as the Dark Lord's magic spread throughout the veins in my arm, causing my arm to vibrate with power.

Blood began to move in a burning trail over my arm, causing a low groan to escape my throat. Soon, I could see a clear outline of the Dark Mark on my arm, created with my own blood. With a loud, long his, the blood melted back into my skin, branding the dark, scarlet design onto my arm. The pain was immense, but I was too intrigued to care. Black smoke appeared in wisps and snaked around mine and the Dark Lord's arms once before he pulled his wand from the wound, and it began slithering into my wound. As the last swirl of smoke disappeared into my arm, the wound sealed itself. Slowly, the smoke began to smother my scarlet burns, turning the newest addition to my arm a bold, unmistakable black.

"You are mine now, Pippa." The dark lord hissed, pulling me to him.

"My Lord, I was yours the moment I met you." I whispered, gladly giving in to his strength. Feeling satisfied in the Dark Lord's icy embrace, I examined my arm and the wonderful mark that would link me to the Dark Lord forever. "This mark only proves it."

"I have some things I would like you to do for me..." The Dark Lord pushed be back against the table and forced me to lay back. "And I_ do not_ want anyone to know about it. Not your father, not Severus... Do you understand?"

"Of course, my Lord."

The Dark Lord bent over me then, hissing his plan into my ear as his hands explored my body. I tried my best to listen intently as the burning sensation I got from the Dark Lord's touch washed over me. It was hard to focus when every inch of my body screamed for attention from the Dark Lord. The farther he got into explaining what he wanted me to do, the harder and more fervently his hands grasped at every part of me, tearing my dress away from my body. By the time the Dark Lord had finished explaining his plans to me, I laid there on the table, bruised, and completely exposed to him for the very first time. _Oh, please let it happen... Every particle in me yearns to be taken by him._ With a dark chuckle, the Dark Lord stepped away from me, leaving me mewling like an unattended cat.

"Now, I do believe you are running late for your evening training with Severus."

"M-my Lord, I am sure that the professor wouldn't mind me being a little late..." I purred, pushing myself off of the table and back into the Dark Lord's arms, pressing my naked form as close to him as I possibly could. "Not as long as you are what is keeping me from attending..." I grinned mischievously and slid my hands beneath his robes, sighing softly as my hands brushed the bare skin of his chest, making me shiver in delight. With a deep, aroused hiss, the Dark Lord spun us around and slammed me against the wall. Smirking, he moved his hands along every curve of my body and then settled them on my hips, gripping the flesh harshly and pressing his body against mine. My heart raced, and my skin tingled in nervous anticipation.

"I am certain that Severus would not mind if you were late, however..." the Dark Lord stepped away from me once again and frowned, my hands dropping to my side, "you fight quite a bit better when you are frustrated... no matter what kind of frustration it may be." With a wave of his wand, the torn remnants of my dress dissolved into a thick smoke. The Dark Lord took one last look of my naked body be for the smoke drifted across the room and settled over me, the dress reforming perfectly with only one change- the sleeves were shortened, and my Dark Mark, my pride and joy, stood out brilliantly against my pale, perfect skin. "When your mark burns, press your thumb to where I cut you, and you will come to me."

"There's no scar- how will I know where to touch...?"

"You will feel the burn, and then locate its centre. Now go."

"Yes, my Lord."

Leaving the dining room, I headed to the basement, where my training sessions were being held. All I wanted right now was to be with the Dark Lord, but I pushed myself to keep on moving. _He is right,_ my thoughts admitted grudgingly. _I do fight better when I am frustrated. And I am most _definitely _frustrated._ With a long sigh, I made my way down to the basement, and into the large room that had been cleared just for Severus and I. Shutting the door behind me, I inhaled deeply, and I screamed.

"You'd think there were a banshee in here." Severus said, entering the room after I was finished screaming. "Why are you screaming? Didn't you just everything you've worked so hard for?" Severus motioned to my arm as he walked across the room.

"I... I did get everything I've worked for. But there is something I want dearly that the Dark Lord will not give me... Now matter how hard I try... I'm just frustrated." I replied. Snape didn't need to know the exact reason for my frustration.

"Good. We can work on channelling your frustration today." Severus took out his wand and motioned for me to do the same. _My wand was in my sleeve,_ I thought. I felt around my dress, wondering if the Dark Lord and included my wand when he dressed me in smoke. I laughed softly when I found out where my wand was, and slowly pulled it out from between me breasts, wondering how I hadn't noticed it before. _The Dark Lord obviously wants the same thing I do... He's just too stubborn to give into the urge so soon. But why does he have to prolong it like this? _Severus stared at me for a moment before he cleared his throat, readying his wand.

I took a deep breath and focused on my frustration, using it to fuel my power. _I _will_ have what I want,_ I thought, raising my wand. "I'm ready."

Severus nodded. "Alright. Begin- Ah!"

My curse hit Severus in the shoulder, sending him stumbling back a few steps. Before he could even catch his footing, I threw another curse that knocked him to the floor. I deflected his first curse and sent his second flying back at him, hitting his wand out of his grasp. With a triumphant grin, I sat on Severus' waist, one leg on either side of him.

"That was rather easy. Why, I do believe you are losing your touch, Professor."

"You think the duel is over simply because you've managed to knock my wand out of my hand?" Severus chuckled and knocked me back with a concentrated burst of wandless magic. "A strong witch or wizard can use wandless magic to turn the odds of the battle to his or her favour." Another burst of power knocked my wand out of my hand and into Severus'. "Concentrate. Channel your frustration and get your wand back. I know you can do simple wandless transfigurations from your lessons. This just takes more concentration."

I nodded and focused on hitting the wand out of his hand. When I thought I was ready, I took a sharp breath and sent an invisible force of magic at Severus, my eyes widening as he grinned. I gasped as my own magic hit me, making me lose my balance. I winced as I hit the floor and watched Severus slowly walk up to me.

"You have to be able to sense when magic is coming at you, and be ready to deflect it when the time comes. If you can learn to do this, you can beat a wanded wizard with your eyes closed, and your hands tied behind your back." Severus helped me to my feet and then took a few large steps back, tossing my wand aside. "Concentrate. I am going to send a wave of magic to you. Try to feel it coming, and then send it back. Don't think about anything nut the magic."

"I'm not sure I can do this, Professor."

"Of course you can. You are the most brilliant witch I have ever met. Your potions are flawless, your transfugurations exact. You've come so fare in your training already... You are the very first student that I did not start to hate within the first five minutes. So, stop doubting yourself, and give it your all." Severus turned away from me and stood silently for several minutes.

"Okay," I whispered, breaking the silence. "I can do this." I took a moment to clear my mind and steady my breathing. If Severus said I could do it, then I _would_ do it. I had to do it. For Severus, for the Dark Lord, for myself... "I am ready." I said, closing my eyes. I focused on what it had felt like when I first held my wand, when I'd cast my first spell, when I'd had my first duel. I felt the magic a split second before it hit me, throwing be back a few steps.

"Again." I said, my voice more determined now. I sensed the magic once again before it reached me, but not in time to deflect it. "Again!" This time I held my breath, willing every fibre of my body to feel the magic. And I did. I felt it build up within Severus, I felt it burst forth from him, and I felt it come spinning towards me. With a small burst of my own magic, I sent Severus' magic back to him and opened my eyes, grinning with delight as I felt Severus pass the magic back to me. With each pass, the magic became stronger, and faster, making it harder to send back each time.

"Take the magic."

"W-what? Are you daft?" I barely managed to send the magic back. "What to you mean, 'take the magic'? It will surely kill me!"

"It is pure energy. If you open yourself up to it, accept it, it can't hurt you. It will only make you stronger." The magic was getting harder and harder to control for the both of us, and I could see the strain in Severus' face as he shot it back at me. If either one of us slipped, I had no doubt that it could kill us.

"I'm afraid, Severus... What if I can't accept it?"

"You can, trust me. As long as you are willing to accept it, it can't hurt you."

"O-okay..." I was so nervous that I thought my heart would explode, but as I sent the magic back to Severus for the last time, I opened my arms wide, making myself vulnerable to the magic. My breath caught in my throat as I felt the magic come all to quickly back to me. "I willingly accept you..." I wispered, just before the magic reached me. It washed over me and began to soak into my skin, making it glow brightly. The feeling was exhilarating. Never in my life had I imagined I could feel so amazing, so complete. The magic burned through my veins, making me moan out in pleasure.

"Oh, Severus... It feels absolutely wonderful." I laughed, carefree, spinning around with my arms spread out wide. "This is the most glorious feeling in the world!" I stopped spinning and ran to Severus, throwing my arms around his neck. "You've taught me so much.. My life would be miserable without you. Thank you, thank you, _thank you.._.!" with each 'thank you', I gave Severus a kiss. Once on his left cheek, once on his right, and once on the lips. Realizing what I had just done, I backed up and covered my mouth, my eyes wide. "I am _so_ sorry. That was foolish of me. The feeling just took over, and I-"

My mind froze as Severus pulled me back into his arms and kissed me. My body responded instantly to his gentle, passionate kisses, and I pressed closer to him, parting my lips in time with his. _He is so safe, and gentle, and perfect for a girl who is looking for an easy life, but-_ It was then that the Dark Lord appeared, his body going rigid as he spotted Severus and I in our embrace. The room became deathly still, as if even the dust was to move. Severus and I quickly pulled away from each other, hastily bowing to our master.

"What part," the powerful wizard began, grabbing my chin roughly, "of _you are MINE_, did you _not_ understand?" The Dark Lord pushed me away and I fell to the ground. Scowling, he turned his anger to Severus, raising his wand. "I will not have foolish,_ unworthy_ imbeciles touching what is mine!" I could feel the vengeful magic begin to build inside the Dark Lord as his anger grew.

"No!" I pushed myself to my feet and stood between the Dark Lord and Severus. "My Lord, I can assure you that this will never happen again. I just received an enormous amount power. You of all people know what power does to me, my Lord." I said, giving him a seductive glance. "I was so elated and overwhelmed by the feeling that I simply could not control myself. Severus is not to blame, my Lord... Power exhilarates me..." I said, running my hand down the Dark Lord's chest.

He paused for a moment before putting his wand away and striking me with the back of his hand. Severus caught me as I fell back, steadying me. "You will learn to control your urges, Black." The Dark Lord spat, grabbing my arm tightly and yanking me away from Severus. "As for you, Severus... If she gives you any more... trouble... notify me. Immediately." The Dark Lord turned away from Severus spoke to me. "I will be taking over your evening training, Black. Severus will still teach you during the day, _if_ you think you can handle yourself... And I will call you for your training exactly at five. If I do not call on you, you are to go to your room, and_ stay there_."

"As you wish, my Lord."

The Dark Lord grasped my chin again grinned maniacally at me before crushing his lips against mine. If I were any other woman, a moment like this would be my worst nightmare. But, as the Dark Lord enforced his power, his dominance, I only found myself wanting more. "I will be seeing you, Pippa." He hissed, leaving the room.

When I was sure his presence was gone, I fell to the floor, covering my face with my hands. "He nearly killed you, Severus..."

"But you stopped him."

"I don't know how..."

"This whole ordeal is my fault. You were only acting on impulse. You were delusional with power... I acted on my desires when I should not have."

"Severus, I-"

"You remind me of a girl I used to know. She was determined to get everything she wanted, just as you are, but she would risk endangering her life for those she cared for, just like you did... She was brilliant, as are you."

"What happened to her?"

"She fell in love with an idiot, and died with him." Snape said, his voice dripping with poison.

"You were in love with her." I stated, placing my hand on his arm. "It must be hard for you to be around me. I am sorry."

"Actually, it is surprisingly easy." Severus smiled weakly, soft affection replacing the venom. He picked up our wands and handed me mine, sighing deeply. "It's getting late. You'd better get some rest. I will do what I can to prepare you for the Dark Lord's evening lesson tomorrow, but after what he saw, I highly doubt he will show you any mercy. He will be harder on you than ever before."

"I will take whatever he has to give me. As he said, I am his..."

"He is a very dangerous man to fall in love with, Pippa. Remember that." Severus left and I stood there alone, socked. _I am not-... Am I?_ I shook my head and began pacing the room slowly, trying to sort my thoughts. _No. I can't be. I am not foolish enough to fall for the Dark Lord..._ I clenched my eyes shut and growled in frustration. Just thinking that, I know I was wrong. I did love him. _Pippa, you stupid, _stupid_ witch..._


	5. The Light in The Darkness

Hey, got a new chapter... Gotta say, I love this one... But I wasn't expecting this to happen!... No I have no CLUE how I'm going to end it... Everything's changed! Please review.

CHAPTER FIVE

The Light in the Darkness

I knew what was going to happen the second Narcissa barged into my room. I'd heard her conversation with my 'mother' just hours earlier.

"_Oh, Bella… I just don't know what to do about Lucius. He just throws his children into the Dark Lord's hands without a care in the world. I am loyal to the Dark Lord, believe me, but they are just so… so _young, _Bella! Why can't he just let them live a few more years as normal witches or wizards, without a cause, without fearing everything they do will upset their master..?"_

"_They _are _his, Cissy. They are his because Lucius is his. How the Dark Lord sees Lucius' children effects how the Dark Lord sees Lucius himself," Bellatrix said, adding snarlingly, "Though I wish the Dark Lord hadn't seen as much of Piper as I think he has."_

I'd rolled my eyes at that.

"_Though Piper is my daughter, and if the Dark Lord has taken a liking to her, I _suppose _it could be used for my benefit."_

Bitch, _I thought._

"_Her name is _Pippa_, Bellatrix. You would think you could remember the name of the girl you love to hate so much."_

"_And you _don't _hate her? She is the seed of Lucius' infidelity!"_

"_And if I hate her, I may as well hate you too!" Narcissa snapped. I could almost see Bellatrix recoil. Narcissa had such a docile, motherly nature that her outburst surprised even me. "But I have grown to love her. She has become like a daughter to me. I have always wanted a daughter... Do not misjudge me... I love Draco with all of my heart, but I have come to wish that Pippa were my own."_

_I smiled at that- If only it could be that easy. If the sisters could only say it were so, and let it be..._

"_You've got to be bloody kidding me..!" Bellatrix howled, and I swear I felt the room shake. After a __moment, she regained her composure, and in an icy voice, said, "Well, Narcissa, as far as I am concerned... You'll have to chose either that wretched girl, or me. Your sister. Your _loving_ sister. You gave up Andromeda easily enough, I am certain this little bump in the road will be no problem."_

I stared at Narcissa as she stood still in my doorway, rather quiet after her grand entrance. She seemed reluctant to say the things I new she was going to say. After all, the two were sisters, and I was Lucius' bastard mistake. I was Bellatrix's mistake too, but Narcissa would surely see past that. The sisters had been through far too much together for them to part ways now.

"You heard."

I stood silently, shocked for a moment. My emotions must have shown clearly on my face. Neither of us wanted this. But Bellatrix must always get what she wants. She's worse than a Banshee when she doesn't. I was in the way of something she wanted. With a sigh and a wave of my wand, I began packing my things with magic.

"Of course I heard... I'm sure the whole house heard at one point. But I understand. When it really comes down to who is more important, the sister always ranks higher than the bastard child of your husband..."

"Believe me, I did not want this to happen. But I know that you would fair better off without me than your mother ever would."

I smiled softly as the last of my things filed neatly into my trunk, my glass owl the last item to fit perfectly into place. "As much as I would hate it, it seems Draco's friend, the Goyle boy, has taken a liking to me..." I grimaced, thinking of having to flirt with that repugnant oaf. "I'm sure his parents would be quite happy to let me stay there if they thought he and I..." I groaned, rubbing my forehead. "If I can't convince myself, I sure as hell can't convince them."

"Then perhaps you can stay with me?" Severus stepped into the room, placing a hand on Narcissa's shoulder. "Do forgive me for interrupting, but I have quite a lot of room at my house, and it would be very easy to train her is she were there at all times. I am also quite sure the Dark Lord would not be very pleased with the arrangement of Pippa and..."Snape said the name with a soft chuckle, as if the boy were below me. And he most certainly was. "_Gregory Goyle_."

_I'm not sure he would be pleased with this arrangement, either... _I thought, remembering the Dark Lord's reaction to Severus and I. In all honesty, I think that the Dark Lord would much rather I stayed with Goyle. Even thinking of his name, his family, sent shivers of disgust down my spine. I've nothing against them- they are loyal to my Lord- but the lot of them make me uneasy. Thinking of them, I think of things like grease, or slime, mixed with the vile smell of the sewers. And so, with a quick, silent apology to the Dark Lord, I did myself a favour.

"I think that is a tremendous idea, Professor." I didn't need Narcissa knowing Severus and I were on a first name basis. Of course, as we were both Death Eaters, nothing would be thought of it, but I didn't want people like my mother reading too far into it. Bellatrix always managed to blow things out of proportion. Her hair, her cackle, and her belief that killing me would solve all her problems. Her whole persona was a little overdone and wild, but it suited her. I would gladly state to any witch or wizard that I was nothing like my insane mother.

"Very well... We'll have you moved in within the hour- I suggest you say your goodbyes. I'll go prepare your room." Severus left, leaving Narcissa and I alone in the only room I had ever called my own. Now it would likely never be mine again.

I surprised myself by stepping over to Narcissa and wrapping my arms around her. "I wish you could be my mother, too." I whispered. Feeling myself start to tear up, I pulled away from the trembling form of my aunt- who was also on the verge of tears- and walked away, quickly and silently. _Don't hate yourself for this, Narcissa_, I thought as I walked through the brightly lit halls of the manor, _Because I never could._

I said goodbye to everyone who was important- which was basically Narcissa and my father. Unfortunately, I ran into Bellatrix and Draco at the same time, and, well... things were broken. Needless to say, nobody was really sad to see me go except Narcissa and Lucius, and some of the older male Death Eaters who 'got off' at the thought of the 'untouchable mistress', which seemed to be my new nickname, now that everyone knew about the Dark Lord and I. The Dark Lord was nowhere to be seen, probably out terrorizing muggles, or commanding his Death Eaters to do it for him. I wondered when he would find out about Severus and I, and how he would react. I would not let any harm come to Severus, that much I was sure of.

"I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of O-" My singing of my favourite muggle movie ever (Dorothy was stupid, I love Elphaba... Though her cackle does remind me of a certain someone) was interrupted by the only man I would never want to hear me singing that song. The Dark Lord.

"They used to make us watch that at the orphanage. One of the first coloured movies ever... I _hated_ it."

"Well, we obviously have different tastes, my Lord."

He silenced me with a glare, looking at me as if he couldn't believe I could enjoy such a common, _muggle_ thing.

I bit my lip and looked away from the Dark Lord, spotting Severus standing by the door of the manor, my trunk beside him. The Dark Lord followed the direction of my gaze, and I could feel the anger burning inside of him. _Here we go..._ I took a deep breath and set my hand lightly on Voldemort's arm, pushing myself close to him. "My Lord... you must understand, that if it were up to Severus and I, it would not be this way." In a split second, I decided to get back at my idiot mother for her cruelty. "However, Bellatrix is feels threatened by my presence, and so she has requested that I leave."

I saw the Dark Lord twitch slightly as his anger shifted from Severus, to my mother, who'd had slipped away the second I'd placed the blame on her. I grinned softly, knowing that I had succeeded, for the time being.

"I will deal with your _mother _later." The Dark Lord leaned into me slowly, whispering, "_I will be watching you, Pippa. Don't forget who you belong to_."

"I never could, my Lord." I replied, letting my hand slide down his arm before I stepped away from him. "Let's go, then." I said to Severus, I grabbed his arm and the handle of my trunk tightly, and we disappeared. Soon we were in a rather large, dark room. Though it was very clean, there was something rather dreary about the place. The walls were grey, the colourless wall paper was peeling in places to show more colourless wallpaper behind it. There were a few cracks here and there in the floorboards, and the only light in the room came from three flickering candles. I didn't mind at all. I actually kind of liked it. There was already a bed and a dresser there waiting for me, and I quickly got to unpacking my things.

"I know it isn't much, but it should suit your needs."

"No- it's perfect. Absolutely..." I turned to Snape and smiled. He really was a great man. Most couldn't see past his big nose, greasy hair and black eyes, or his sulky demeanour, but I kind of loved that about him. I pushed those thoughts away quickly. I shouldn't be thinking things like that. Ever. Snape seemed to catch on to my thoughts before I could put them aside entirely, and his eyes widened. With a deep blush, I turned my head away sharply and continued unpacking. When I felt Severus behind me, I froze, a warm tingling sensation running up my spine. "D-don't..." I mumbled as his hands caressed my shoulders. "He said he'd be watching..." I whispered, closing my eyes as he moved closer to me.

"The Dark Lord may be a powerful wizard, Pippa... But so am I." He turned me around and kissed my neck, his hot breath and lips against my skin making my heart flutter. I had to admit to myself that I felt something for Severus that I doubted would go away. Before, I was certain I would never leave the Dark Lord for anything. But now, I didn't know. And that scared me.

"No..." Severus kept kissing me, trailing slowly up my neck. I could hear his soft thoughts, feel what he was feeling, and it wasn't for me. "No!" I pushed Severus back angrily, holding my wand between us. "I am not _her_, Severus!" I yelled, glaring at him. "I am not that girl you fell in love with. I never will be. I belong to the Dark Lord, and you will _not touch me!_" I was angry, furious even, that he thought of me as her. It hurt in I way that I had never expected. The flutter in my heart stopped, grew cold, and turned into icy rage as jealousy struck me. I'd told myself I wouldn't let things like this happen... Now it seemed like I was falling left and right. I knew this thing with Snape was foolish, reckless, and pointless. Why was I having these thoughts? "Go." I said, my voice cracking as I said it. Snape turned and began to walk away, and with a deep, shaky breath, I spoke from my heart. "You were the only man who could have ever taken me away from him, you know... But... You only see me as _her. _Not as me. And that changes everything."

He didn't look back, just kept on walking away. I couldn't hear his thoughts now, he had probably realized what had happened and blocked me. I closed the door, feeling slightly guilty about how rude I had been to the man who had taken me into his home. But, if the only reason he wanted me was because I reminded him of that woman, then he deserved every little bit of my anger. I pushed the covers off of the small bed and lay down on it, staring at the walls of my new room. I was sure Severus wouldn't kick me out over what had happened, but I was sure that I would be spending an awful lot of time in this room. Either that, or walking around outside.

At that thought, I stood up, having the sudden urge to be outside. I left my room quietly, tip-toeing past Severus' sitting room. I paused a moment and watched him. Snape's back was to me, and I couldn't see what he was doing, but I thought I could hear small, sharp breaths, as if he were crying. I wondered if he was remembering that girl. I placed my hand against the door and whispered a soft apology. I knew he wouldn't hear me. He was off in his own world. Silently, I continued down the hall, keeping my eyes downcast. _I shouldn't have been so rude..._

Outside, it was just as dark and dreary as my room. Everywhere you looked, you would see grey. There was a low mist that covered the street, making it hard to see very clearly what was ahead of you. There was rubbish left and right, and far ahead I could see that there was a large, dark figure, the chimney of the old mill Severus had told me about. _Spinner's End..._ I thought. It was absolutely deserted. The houses stood tall, cold and lonely. I walked down the street, avoiding the rubbish and the dirty puddles. Every house looked the same, and I couldn't help thinking that it would be a very easy place to get lost in, with the mist and all. The streets surrounding Spinners End all had the same, dark and abandoned feel to them.

I walked for a while longer, and soon stood on a river bank strewn with old bags of chips and empty bottles. I cleared a place for myself and sat down, looking into the dirty river. _I wonder if this place used to be beautiful..._

"It was never beautiful, but it was never this ugly, either... The only thing of beauty I ever saw here was..."

"That girl." I didn't look back at Severus.

"Her name was Lily." Severus sat down beside me, staring ahead. "We met when we were young. We both knew we were different. She was so beautiful... I fell in love with here instantly. We went to school at Hogwarts the same year. Even though she was sent to Gryffindor, and I to Slytherin, we stayed together. Only James... He managed to break us apart. He stole her heart." Severus looked at me then. I could feel his eyes on my face, but I kept my own on the river. "You do remind me of her, Pippa. But I know that you are not her. You never could be." I looked at him at that, anger in my eyes, until he spoke again. "I don't love you because you remind me of her. I love you because you make me forget about her. When we kissed, I wasn't remembering her... I was saying goodbye to her."

"You love me?" Well, know what was I going to do? I didn't expect this side of Snape to ever show. Was I to act on the way we felt about each other? The Dark Lord could never love me... I was sure of that. But Severus did love me. Loving him back would mean killing him. Although the Dark Lord would never love me, I was his possession, and he would not have other people touching his things. "You can't love me. You'll die."

"I will die anyway, Pippa. I'd rather die knowing I've loved again than die alone."

"Don't say that. You're not dieing any time soon."

"Pippa, do you love me?"

I didn't answer him.

"Pippa?"

"I love the Dark Lord. You know that. You told me so yourself."

"Yes, but you feel something for me, Pippa. I know you do."

"So I fancy you. Big deal." I grumbled, standing up and walking away from him. His fingers wrapped around my wrist and he pulled me to a stop.

"It's more than that, Pippa... I know it is."

I turned to him then, tears streaming down my pale face. "And what would you have me do, Severus? Admit my love for you, and then watch you die by the Dark Lord's hands? I will not! I cannot... I cannot lose you, Severus. You lift the darkness away when I am with you... I was raised in the heavy cloak of darkness, but you pull it right off of me. I feel pure, and carefree. I feel light. How can I lead you to death when you are the only thing in the world that makes me want to be better? To be good? How do you do it?" I waited a moment for him to answer, my breathing heavy and strained. "HOW!" I yelled in frustration as he turned away.

"I do not serve the Dark Lord."

I froze, the shock clear on my red, tear-stained face. "W-what? Since when? Are you on the side of that... That Potter boy, then?"

"That 'Potter Boy' is Lily's son. I have to protect him... I have not served the Dark Lord for years. Not since he... Since he killed Lily."

I'd never had a bad thought about the Dark Lord in my life, but at that moment, I felt Snape's hatred for him hit me, and my own began to bubble deep within me. _If the Dark Lord ever finds out-_

"He will not."

"How do you know?" I asked, grabbing his arm and pulling, forcing him to face me. He smiled, so softly that I felt my heart melt. He raised his hand and caressed my left cheek gently, pushing my blond hair back, over my shoulder.

"Because you would not tell him. Nor would I. Nor would the only other man who knows."

"B-but if you can read my thoughts so easily, then the Dark Lord will, and then you'll die, and I'll die, and I-"

"Pippa! You need to realize just how strong you are! The Dark Lord could never know anything you didn't want him to know. I've seen how you twirl yourself around him, like a loyal servant. You don't know it, but you can manipulate the Dark Lord. You weave your magic around him with your words, your touch..."

"You make me sound like a Veela."

"I would pay one million Galleons to meet the Veela who could outshine you."

Feeling the heavy blush rise to my cheeks, I turned away and began my walk back to Severus' house on Spinner's End. I could feel him following closely behind me, appreciating my reaction.

"Flattery doesn't usually work on me, Severus. You've caught me of guard is all..."

"I'm sure."

I could hear the laughter in his voice, and it made me blush even deeper. _Damn, arrogant wizard,_ I thought, letting my thoughts be clear to him. His chuckle assured me that he got the message, and I pushed on. When I no longer felt Severus' presence directly behind me, I tensed and turned sharply, fearing the worst. I saw him standing in front of his door, grinning. "You missed it."

Mumbling rude, entirely untrue things under my breath, I stormed past him and into the house. By the time I was in my room, I was laughing and crying at the same time. I didn't know how I was going to keep Severus alive... But it was good to feel this way.


	6. To Want, To Need, To Have To

I'm back! Here we are... Poor Pippa is so torn... I know you'll all love this juicy chapter! Please review. Your reviews make me want to keep going! WARNING: sexual content, violence, and pure EXCELLENCE.

CHAPTER SIX

To Want, To Need, To Have To

Summer was over, and Severus was gone. He'd been made the headmaster of Hogwarts after the Dark Lord had taken over the ministry (score one for team Voldemort), and now I wouldn't get to see him for who knows how long. I couldn't help but think that Voldemort was rather pleased with this. He hadn't let Severus and I be alone together since the day by the old, dirty river. As my mother's punishment (and my own), the Dark Lord had made her accompany me wherever I went until Severus had left (which was _**PURE TORTURE**_). I could tell that the Dark Lord knew something was going on, but he did not know enough to kill two valued Death Eaters. I looked at my Dark Mark then. I'd sworn my allegiance to the Dark Lord, and it had been the most amazing day of my life. I was pretty sure that it still was, but I didn't know how long it would take Severus to replace it.

All I knew was that the Dark Lord made my heart race faster than a golden snitch, but Severus made it flutter like one hundred snitch's wings. Being around both of them for a long period of time would likely make my heart explode. In the end, it really did not matter what I thought. I would be with the Dark Lord. I had to be, if I wanted to keep Severus alive. If_ I _wanted to live.

At the sound of wings, I ran to the window and opened it quickly, ducking as a large, tawny owl swooped in and landed gracefully on top of my dresser. _A letter from Severus!_ I thought, moving towards the owl. A burning sensation in my arm stopped me. It was exactly five o'clock, and it was time to see the Dark Lord. Forgetting about the letter, I pressed my wand to my arm, right at the centre of the pain, and I was gone, snatched from my room at Spinner's End, and thrown into the Malfoy Ma- _This is not the Malfoy Manor, _I thought, looking around the unfamiliar room. The walls were a dark, washed out brown, and the only rays of light in the room filtered through a small window behind me. The Dark Lord sat in a high-backed chair waiting for me, the beautiful Nagini draped over his shoulders.

"I wanted complete privacy..." His cold, smooth voice washed over me, and I smiled. "No interruptions now." The Dark Lord continued. "Today is the day you become completely mine!"

All thoughts of Severus left my mind as the power of his voice hit me. He approached me quickly, leaving Nagini slithering along the floor by the chair. Voldemort raised his wand and gave it a quick flick. I felt the cool air against my skin immediately and knew that he'd gotten rid of my robes. Everything I'd worked for was finally coming together, and I did not know whether to be terrified, or elated.

I practically ran to him as he undid his own robes, and I threw my arms around his neck, giving him a fierce kiss. I could hear Severus' voice faintly, at the back of my head, begging me to stop, not to let this happen, bit I pushed it away. After all, was this not what I had wanted for so long? Our hands grasped harshly at each other, savouring every moment as we got closer and closer to the inevitable end. Not even an earthquake could stop is now.

"Bruise me, my Lord..." I begged, pulling his arms out of his robes and running my fingers along them. "Please. I want every place you touch me to show that you were there."

The Dark Lord's hands became more aggressive instantly, pulling and digging into my flesh. He bit my lip as he kissed me, and I shuddered as I tasted my own blood. He moved his mouth, first to my neck, and then to my breasts, leaving a distinct mark everywhere that his teeth touched. When he finally reached my lips again, the delightful pain was all that I knew, and still, I wanted more of it.

"Voldemort..."

As if it were the only thing that he'd needed to hear, Voldemort lifted me against the wall, his hips keeping me in place as his hands ran along my thighs. Severus' voice began to yell at me again, telling me that what I was doing was wrong, but I wouldn't listen. I was too far gone. _This will keep you alive, Severus,_ I soothed. _This will keep us _both_ alive._

The Dark Lord adjusted himself and pushed inside of me then, and I was pulled into a glorious world where only he and I existed, leaving Severus behind.

I'd spent the next three days by the Dark Lord's side, in his arms, or in his bed. There wasn't an inch of my skin that didn't show proof of the time we'd shared, and I loved it. The painful bliss had to end today, though, as there was 'business' (as in torturing muggles) to attend to, but the Dark Lord had promised me that we would meet again very soon. The only thing that made the parting bearable for me was remembering the look on my mother's face when Voldemort had summoned her, and she'd seen in the Dark Lord's arms, lovely bruises and all.

With one last hard kiss, I disapparated to my room at Severus' house, giving a shocked yelp when I appeared and he was there, waiting for me. One look at the red, blue and purple tones scattered along my flesh, and Snape's face went white. I did not feel any guilt. I was proud to be the Dark Lord's lover. But the heartbroken look on Severus' face made my eyes water. _What is he even doing here?_ I thought. He was supposed to be at Hogwarts. When I spotted the unopened letter in his hand, I realized tat he'd been planning to visit me, and the guilt started slowly seeping in. I'd never wanted him to see me like that, bruised and branded, like a cheap whore.

"Severus, I-"

"Go." He'd turned around and was refusing to look at me. I could hear the disgust, the pain in his voice, and my throat tightened as I swallowed a small sob that threatened to come out. I'd hurt him. Of course I had. He loved me. He was going to get hurt no matter what. "GO!" He shouted when I hadn't moved. I stood my ground, feeling the sudden urge to explain myself to the heartbroken man before me.

"Sev-"

"You've been... Defiled by the Dark Lord. He's all _over_ you. Every _inch_ of you. How could you do it? You gave that heartless, snake of a man your virginity, your love, your _innocence!_ Do you think that he respects you? You are just a possession, and you will never be anything more! Simply some 'new toy' that he can toss aside when he finds an actual _woman_ to please him. Not an inexperienced child." He still wouldn't look at me. His eyes stared darkly into the mist outside of the window, which was still open from the night I'd left. _He knows when he sent the owl, when it returned... He knows how long I was with him..._ "You're just like your insane mother, fawning over the Dark Lord like you believe you'll eventually _mean_ something to him! It's pathetic!"

I covered my quivering mouth with two shaky hands, trying to stop a strangled cry of pain, to no avail.

Realizing what he'd said, Snape turned around, struggling to find the right words to say to make me forgive him. "Pippa, I... Oh, no, I didn't mean- Pippa!"

I didn't give him the chance to take back what he'd said. I ran out of the room, out of the house, and down the street. Down, down, down through the mist I ran until I stood, breathless and puffy-eyes, in front of the old abandoned textile mill. I hurled my fists over and over again into the cold, hard stone of the mill wall.

"You... Stupid... _IDIOT..!_" I yelled, hitting the wall with each word. After hitting the wall a few more times, I fell against it, exhausted, and slid to the ground. My hands were bloody and torn from the rough texture of the wall, combined with the force of my anger. "I _am _just like my mother! Insane, angry, obsessive... How could I let myself get like this? Argh!" Breathing heavily, I tried to calm myself. I pulled out my wand, healing the small wounds on my hands. The magic seemed to calm me, and soon I felt my anger and frustration start to fade away, until only one thought was left.

_Stupid jerk._

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

"... No."

Lucius growled in frustration. "You are staying with Severus. You are not going to live on you own, Pippa, I forbid it! You're not ready."

"I'm turning nineteen in _three days_. I'm more than ready. I'm _not_ going back to live with Severus. I don't even want to see the hook-nosed bast-" I cut my insult short as my father glared at me. "Well, he is!"

"What on earth happened between the two of you to cause this? The man is all the way at Hogwarts, for Merlin's sake! What is so bad about staying in a house _he won;t even be in?_"

"That's not the point. It's his house, and I don't want anything to do with him."

"You're as stubborn as your mother!"

"Well, apparently that's not the only trait I got from the wicked witch!" I snapped. "I'm also insane!"

"He called you insane? _That's_ what's got you so angry."

"It's not of your bloody business what's got me so angry! The fact is, I'm moving, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"Oh, yes, there very well is, Pippa Mae Malfoy! I am _not_ letting you live amongst _muggles!_"

"It isn't your choice! And I don't go by _Malfoy._ It's Black."

"I WILL NOT LET YOU LIVE WITH WORTHLESS, INSOLENT-"

"Calm down, Lucius. If she wants to live with the pigs in the dirt, let her. She belongs there."

"Stay out of this, Bellatrix!" My father and I say at the same time. Bellatrix just snickers, twirling her hair.

"You really are this wretch's father. Poor Lucy." The insufferable woman let her cackle out of its cage as she left us to our argument, prancing down the hall as if the Malfoy Manor were _hers._ Which it practically was.

"You're moving back here, Bellatrix be damned. I'll talk to Narcissa."

"You're going into the duel with a Banshee and her sister... Good luck with that."

"Narcissa is nothing like Bellatrix. She'll see reason."

"If Narcissa is nothing like Bellatrix, why'd you bang her?"

"Do not talk to me like that, Pippa, I am your-"

"My what? My _father?_ Because you don't really act like it, except for when you want to be an over-protective ass. But where _was _your over-protective ass when I left the first time?" When Lucius didn't answer I scoffed, turning away from him. "You know, you're going to have to try a little harder if you want me to call you my father." I said as I walked away. "I'll stay until my birthday. If you don't have everything sorted out by then, I'm leaving. Deal?" I turned, looking at Lucius. He had to agree. Either he agreed, Or I left without a second glance. When he finally nodded, I grinned and turned back around, continuing down the hall, right into my old room.

Nobody had done anything too it, which was kind of pleasing. Not that they would. It was just like any other room at the Malfoy Manor. Large, furnished with expensive antiques, and lit by a beautiful chandelier. Moving from a room like this, to the one at Severus' would have been a large step for most, but I didn't bother my mind with material possessions. The only one I would likely ever keep would be the Owl from Lucius. And my wand, of course. But that was more like an extension of me than a possession.

My things were still at Severus' house. I would have to deal with that later. Much later. I could survive without them, and I never wanted to step foot in that house again. Besides, there was too much of him in it. It had been his childhood home, and was still his home now. _Stop thinking about him! _I ordered myself. _This is what you want._ I groaned and flopped onto my soft bed, rolling over until I felt my arm touch the cool wall. When the three days were up, I would leave. But I wouldn't go live amongst the muggles, like I'd told my father. There were plenty of abandoned houses at Spinner's End. Of course, it was were Severus lived, but I had come to like the rubbish strewn place in the short time that I had been there. I would find a house far enough from Severus' as not to be noticeable. I would visit my father once a week outside of meeting as Death Eaters, so that he wouldn't worry, and nobody would know where I was. It would be nice and quiet. Just for me.

My birthday. Nineteen at last. Today was the day that the Dark Lord's plan was set into motion. I could feel myself vibrating with excitement as I got ready for the day. My father had sent some of the 'lesser' Death Eaters to pick of my things from Severus' house last night, and when they arrived, I'd searched through them, distinctly remembering packing a few more pairs of panties than were present. I sighed. They'd practically signed a death warrant. If the Dark Lord found out, it would be off with their heads. I waited a few more minutes, looking at the faded bruises on my arms, before I walked out of my room, and straight into a dark-robed figure.

"Happy Birthday, Ms. Black." Severus said in his deep tone. Why did he always appear when he was least wanted?

"Thank you, Mr. Snape." It sounded so unbearable awkward to say 'Mr. Snape'. I was so used to saying Severus, or professor at the very least. I kept my eyes on his robes, not wanting to look at his face. _What is he even doing here? Did he come here just to taunt me? To hurt me?_ I could feel the anger, the embarrassment from the other day coming back in fresh, heavy waves. As Headmaster, Severus had a lot to do. I didn't know how he kept making time for visits.

"I need to talk to you-"

"Not now." I interrupted. "I'm busy."

"And so am I. Pippa, I wouldn't have made time to come here if this were not important."

"Tell it to someone _else_, Snape. I don't want to hear it."

"Yes. Do tell it to someone else, Severus. Perhaps _I _could lend an ear?"

The Dark Lord had appeared behind me, and now pulled me to him, encasing me in his arms, as if he knew Severus intended to take his prized possession away. His lips were never far from from my skin, and he kissed slowly up my neck, all the while keeping his eyes trained on Severus, measuring his reaction. In a sudden act of anger towards Snape, I turned sharply and kissed the Dark Lord with fervour. When at last I pulled away, I glanced at Severus, watching as his cold, calculating eyes took this all in. I looked back to the Dark Lord and smiled seductively.

"We've much to do, my Lord. Let us leave Severus alone to his thoughts."

"You're right. But first I must talk with Bellatrix, and remind her where her loyalties lie. I'll not have to living with _filthy muggles_. Your pure blood may not be tainted."

"Of course, my Lord."

Voldemort left, leaving me standing awkwardly alone in front of a still-as-stone Severus. After a few long moments of silence, he spoke up.

"How could you-"

"I do not have to explain myself to _you_, Severus."

"Did you want to do it?"

"I'm not talking about this with you-"

"Did you, or did you _not_, Pippa, it is a simple question!"

I glared at him a moment."_Muffliato_." The air around us was filled with an unidentifiable buzzing as I used the spell Severus himself had created (he'd taught it to me during our lessons), and I pulled him into my room, sealing the door behind us. "Yes! Are you happy now? Yes, I wanted to. I wanted to with all of my heart. And even as I heard your voice telling me no, I STILL did it. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you satisfied."

"_Why?_"

"You _know_ why."

"How can you love a man like _that_?"

"How can I not? He is everything I grew up learning about, everything I learned to respect. He was all that I had ever heard about, year, after year, after year! I was taught that power and cruelty were the qualities of a strong wizard. And meeting him, being overcome by his power... It was like a dream come true, for someone like me."

"And what am I, then, Pippa? A fleeting moment? A _nightmare_?"

"You are a dream so extravagant and unachievable, that to chase you would be to die." I waited for him to respond, but when he didn't, I continued. "I _love you,_ Severus Snape." I said, placing a small hand lightly on his chest. "But I love him too. And being with him... Keeps _you_ alive. Can't that be enough?" I walked around him and sat down on my bed, covering my face with my hands.

Severus pulled my hands away from my face and gently tilted my head up to look at him before bringing his soft, warm lips to mine. It felt so right that I couldn't bring myself to pull away. The Dark Lord's touch was so strong, so fierce, that it left marks everywhere it went. But Severus would never mark me. He was so gentle, so perfectly subtle that you didn't need a mark to know where he'd been. You just knew. Every delicate caress would linger on my skin long after he was gone. I found myself wishing that I could stay there forever, wrapped in the gentle love of Severus. When my Dark Mark began to burn, I ignored it, basking in the feather-light, forbidden touch of the man who was turning my whole world upside down, until the pain grew, and I knew I could not ignore it any longer.

"He's calling me." I whispered after I'd reluctantly pulled away from Severus. I stood up and walked to the door, removing the spells that I had cast. Severus took my wrist and gently pulled me back to him, embracing me for a moment.

"I will find a way for us to be together, Pippa. I promise."


	7. Welcome to the Family

CHAPTER SEVEN

Welcome to the Family

The first instalment of the Dark Lord's plan had gone through with ease. I'd prepared everything he needed, and his plan was well on its way. I kept his secrets easily to myself. If anyone else were to know of this, it could go wrong. Though it was a lot of work for one Death Eater to do, I was happy to do it. When I had come back, Lucius and Narcissa had been waiting for me with a gift. I'd been absolutely shocked. It would be the second gift I had ever received in my lifetime. I hadn't expected anything at all, just working for the Dark Lord had been enough. After opening the box, I'd pulled out the most beautiful, velvet red dress I had ever seen, with black vines twisting all around it. It was heavy, but it would be worth it. I'd put t on before attending dinner that night. It was an off-the-shoulder piece, ruched perfectly from the top, where it just covered my breasts, to my waist. From there, the dress fell to the floor in beautiful pleats, giving it a nice, full look, and making me appear to be floating as I walked. I'd been the highlight of the whole dinner. Even Bellatrix had admitted that I was, indeed, a beautiful girl. Of course, she'd also stated that she hated my guts, and if I ever tried to show her up again, she would roast me alive, no matter what the Dark Lord said.

The Dark Lord and I had both agreed that night that the dress looked much better on the floor, though this time, as much as I tried to ignore Severus' voice in my head, I hadn't been able to. Every minute I had been with the Dark Lord, I'd been thinking of Severus' soft kisses. I wanted desperately for him to see me in my dress, but he had gone back to Hogwarts after we'd spoken. He was only allowed short periods of absence from the school, as long visits outside of the school would ruin the Dark Lord's plan to kill Harry Potter. He needed Severus there as much as possible, in case the boy returned, and he had no doubt that the boy would return. I ran my hand along the dress three months later as it hung in the closet, the soft fabric making my fingers tingle, wondering how many galleons they had paid for it. Surely, it was expensive. I could tell that there had been no magic involved in the making of the dress. After that wonderful training day with Severus, I could feel magic everywhere, anywhere it had touched. I could even distinguish one person's magic from another now.

"I'm starting to see what the Dark Lord saw in me. The only thing he sees in me. The only thing he'll _ever_ see in me..."

I close the door to my closet and turn around, looking at all of my things. I was staying at the Malfoy Manor again, permanently. Both my father and the Dark Lord had made sure to that, though I still wanted to leave, to find an old house at Spinner's End. Doing that would surely make the Dark Lord angry, though, so I would stay. Bellatrix didn't bother me as much, by the Dark Lord's request - demand, rather - and it was much easier to live there. Feeling the need to do something, _anything_, I left my room and walked down the hallway. I had done everything that I could for the Dark Lord's plan to progress already, and now that I had nothing to fill my days, I didn't know what to do. As I walked along the halls, I noticed the red and white draped around the banisters, the reeves on the doors, and mistletoe at every entrance. "Oh, no... Not-"

"CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!"

Draco yelled into my ear. He knew how much the I didn't like the holiday, and always loved to bother me about it. "Oh, do grow up, Draco. Or are you still waiting for are you still waiting for 'Santa' to show up?"

"Who the hell is Santa?"

I laughed softly and pushed by the annoying boy. "Some drug-induced muggle fantasy. He brings you presents on Christmas if you're a good boy. So, I s'pose you wouldn't get any," I taunted Draco as I walked away.

"Of course I would. He'd love me. I mean, everybody loves me." Draco bragged as he followed me through the house.

"Mhm... I'm sure they do, Draco. I bet Harry Potter is just _itching_ to be your best friend."

"_Potter_ is a loser, and he had his chance. He decided to be an idiot and hang out with a nitwit redhead and his mudblood girlfriend. All a bunch of morons, if you ask me."

"Yes, well, I didn't ask you, Draco, did I?" I say, giving him a glare over my shoulder. "Personally, I would have to agree with the Potter boy that you're not much for company."

"I am so. I had all of the Slytherin girls fawning over me at school," he stated, adopting a smug expression. "In fact, I've had each and every one of them."

"Ugh, please, Draco don't say such disgusting things. Besides, I'll never be able to wrap my head around you being able to have sex with that tiny thing you've got there," I teased, motioning to his crotch. "And it wasn't you that they liked, Draco. It was father. And his title. A ministry man later discovered to have worked in stride with the Dark Lord... Every Slytherin girls' dream. Some of the guys, too, no doubt. Am I right, Draco?" I looked back at the boy to see him blush at my last statement.

"Yes, well I never actually p-pursued any of the guys..."

At his stumble I turned to face him with a wild smile on my face. "Are you gay, Draco?"

"W-what? No, why would you even suggest-"

"'Cause it makes you blush."

"Well I'm not-"

"It's okay to admit it, Draco." I turned around and began walking again, knowing full well that my blushing brother would be following along behind me. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. Hell, even I've thought about it. But if you fancy Harry Potter, that's completely okay by me."

"YOU-"

"Ah, denial. It's the first step, you know."

"Would you just-"

"What's that, Draco? You want Harry Potter naked on a broomstick for Christmas? Well, it's a bit much, but-"

"I DO NOT WANT _ANYTHING_ TO DO WITH HARRY FREAKIN' POTTER!"

I stopped again and looked at Draco, making my expression blank. After a few seconds, I turned my head away in mock disappointment. "More denial. Seriously, Draco, when will you learn?"

"If there were anyone I would want from that loser group, it would be Hermione Granger."

_Jackpot._ "Oh, really?" I turned back again, my mock disappointment turning into true curiosity.

"Y-yeah, because she's a g-girl and all..."

"Falling in love with mudbloods are we, Draco? I thought you said they were beneath you?"

"Would you stop twisting everything around to make me look like an idiot?" Draco fumed, his face red from both anger and embarrassment.

"Oh, I don't have to make you look like an idiot, Draco, you do that all on your own."

"Father will hear about this," Draco warned, clenching his teeth as he spoke.

"Oh, do tell him, Draco. And please, let me be there when you do. First you're a man-whore with a small penis, then you're gay and in love with Harry Potter, and now you're falling for mudbloods. I can't wait to see his reaction. When shall we tell him?"

Draco just stared at me for a moment before all of the anger left his features, as if he had simply given up. "You know, you're a real bitch, Pippa."

"Hm. Never thought I'd see the day when you gave me a compliment."

Letting out a frustrated huff, the gay, mudblood loving womanizer left, happy thoughts for the upcoming Christmas completely forgotten.

"If he knew anything about muggle movies, he'd have called me a 'Grinch'," I murmured, chuckling softly as I continued my random stroll around the manor. Draco and I didn't get along, but I found that I was starting to crave our little confrontations. I wondered if he felt the same way. Probably not, seeing as I always managed to outwit him in the end. Alas, a sister could hope, could she not? "Perhaps for 'Christmas', I'll let him win one," I thought aloud before entering the large family area. It wasn't used very often, but you would never have guessed considering how extravagantly decorated it was today. The Malfoy family may not have seemed the type to participate in the jolly holiday, but when you could bathe in all of the money you owned and had a tendency to want to out-do others, Christmas turned into a competition. Who got the most, who gave the most, and who spent the most. Perhaps if I had grown up viewing Christmas in the joyful way of muggle children, I'd have enjoyed the holiday. But not like this. There was no spirit in buying gifts solely for bragging rights.

Narcissa stood in the centre of the room, using magic to decorate the very large, very beautiful tree in the corner. On the tree hung different coloured shiny bulbs, twinkling lights, tinsel, family photos, and an assortment of ornaments. The bulbs had faces, and, if I remembered correctly, tried to bite your finger off if you ever touched them. I wondered how long they'd been in the family, and how many Malfoy children had lost a finger to one of them. On close inspection, the twinkling lights were tiny little balls of magic, some softer form of _lumos, _perhaps. The tinsel was ever-changing- never staying one colour for more than three seconds. The photographs, and some of the ornaments, waved at me. One of the ornaments- a little teddy-bear using a candy-striped wand- was poking at a particularly angry red bulb, who tried to bite the bear every time he got close. I laughed as the bulb finally caught hold of the bear's arm.

At my laughter, Narcissa turned around, realizing that she was no longer alone. She lowered her wand as the last of the decorations floated onto the tree, latching to the branches. "What do you think?" She asked, motioning around the room at all of the decorations. Truthfully, it seemed a bit much to me, but it seemed to be important to her, so I gave her a big smile.

"It looks delightful, Narcissa. I've never been much for Christmas of course, but... Well, I'm sure that everyone else will appreciate it."

"This year will be different, you know."

"How so?" I asked, helping Narcissa adjust a few things here and there.

"People are starting, slowly but surely, to think of you as part of this family."

I stopped, turning to face my father's wife. "Part of the family? I've never been part of any family, Narcissa."

"You are now. Before, you were as good as invisible. But people have taken notice of you. And that means presents."

"Ugh. You mean to say that I actually have to _participate_ this year?"

"Is that so terrible?"

"I suppose not, but... I just... I just never really liked Christmas and all. It just seems so foolish. What is the point in exchanging all of these gifts?" I motioned to the numerous boxes already positioned beneath the tree.

"Does there have to be a point? Can't we all just share in the delight of giving and receiving gifts? Of being happy, and making others happy?"

"I guess I've never really thought of it like that."

Narcissa smiled kindly. "Well, now you have. Keep that thought in mind for tomorrow morning, Pip," she said, giving me a thoughtful look before she swept gracefully out of the room.

"I will," I mumbled, watching her leave.

Narcissa was in my room on Christmas morning when I woke up, looking absolutely stunning in a powder-blue gown. She helped me get ready, telling me to put on my red velvet dress and then putting my hair up in a beautiful, elaborate braid. "Severus will be joining us later this evening," she stated quietly as she intricately wove strands of my hair.

Though the very thought of seeing Severus set my heart on fire, I kept a calm, unchanging expression. "Will he? That is very kind of him, taking time away from Hogwarts to visit us for the holidays."

"To visit _you_, I'd say."

"W-what? That is hardly appropriate! I would never-"

"Shhh," Narcissa soothed as she pinned the last strands of my hair into place. "Your secret is safe with me," she whispered, gently nudging me towards the mirror. In the mirror stood a mature, powerful witch that radiated beauty. "You know, your mother was beautiful too, when she was your age. Picture perfect. I was always so jealous. She was going to become a wonderful witch. She was going to bring about a magnificent change in the world. But one day, a man came in and swept her away. He stole her heart, and beat it down, down, down, until there was only enough room in it for one thing-_ him_. He took everything that was beautiful in her, everything that was wonderful about her, and he threw it away like it meant _nothing_. He turned her into a shell, filled her with rage, and hatred, and when he was done with her, he threw her back. Only it wasn't her anymore. Not really." Narcissa smoothed my dress out as she spoke, but I never looked away from the mirror. As I looked at myself, I could see Bellatrix, see all of the things that had once made her so beautiful. Warm, soft glances changed to cold, heartless glares. Gently pouting lips changed to cruel, mocking smirks. Defined, rosy cheeks changed to tired, sallow flesh. "Do you know who this man was, Pippa?"

"Voldemort," I said, without hesitation. Would he do the same to me? Would he suck all of the beauty out of me until there was nothing left but a frigid, broken witch? I didn't want to believe that the man I respected, the man I admired would do such a thing. But there was truth in Narcissa's words. Honesty. And also fear. She did not want to see me fall as her sister had. Narcissa's expression in the mirror was sad, and after I'd turned to face her, she lifted her hand to cup my cheek.

"Yes, it was him."

"What if he does the same thing to me?" I ask, trembling slightly. I did _not_ want to end up like my mother. Hating the world, hating my own child... I could never live like that.

"It won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because you have one thing Bella never had. One exception."

"Which is..?"

Narcissa smiled then, letting her hand drop to her side. "That is something you must figure out on your own."

As it turned out, Christmas morning hadn't been as unbearable as I'd thought it would be. I had received numerous gifts- from Lucius, from Narcissa, and even some from a few people I didn't know at all. The gifts ranged from little Christmas candies, to funny little trinkets to decorate my room with, to beautiful pieces of jewelry. I had even gotten a gift from Bellatrix Lestrange, though I slid it over to Draco, saying he'd missed one. It had turned out to be my favourite present out of all of them, seeing as it ended with Draco getting a pie in the face. The pie didn't taste all that bad, either. By the time all of the gifts had been exchanged, I was exhausted. But the festivities hadn't ended there. There was a magnificent lunch after, followed by introductions to what must have been almost every single pure-blood wizard in London. Then, there were shows put on by the children for their families, followed by a round of duels to see which witch or wizard would win the Christmas Champion title. The last duel had been Draco and I against each other. I had won, but Draco insisted he had gone easy on me, out of the spirit of Christmas.

At last it was time for the evening feast, the most elaborate and important of them all. I was standing off to the side of the doorway, talking to my fourth cousin, three times removed, when he entered. Narcissa gave me a knowing look, and I turned my head away, trying my best to focus on the lovely conversation that I was having with Gepetto- no, Gilbert- no, no, Griffith...

"Good Evening Ms. Black." I felt his distinct presence behind me long before I heard his sultry voice. "Martin," He acknowledged the boy in front of me. _Wow, I was _way_ off, _I thought. "You wouldn't mind if I stole her from you for a moment, would you?" Martin shook his head. "Thank you." Severus grabbed my wrist gently then, pulling me away from the crowds and the noise. We ended up in the kitchen, our only company three little house elves who were too busy preparing the last bits of the feast to notice us. "You look absolutely radiant. I'm glad that I took some time away from those dunderheaded students of mine..." Severus' voice trailed off as he took in my appearance. His eyes swept over every inch of me, careful and precise, as if he were trying to memorize every detail. Every fold in my dress, every twist in my hair. "Has _he_ seen you tonight?" He asked, his eyes resting on mine. They were not jealous, or angry. Simply thoughtful. I shook my head softly and he smiled, taking me into his arms. "He may have seen your natural beauty, but I will gladly take this as second best." I blushed then, and softly pressed my lips to his.

When Narcissa walked into the room, Severus froze for a moment before hastily backing away from me and clearing his throat. "Well... There really is no excuse for this, is there?"

Narcissa laughed softly. "You've no need for an excuse, Severus." She winked at us. "Come," she said before Severus could even begin to register his shock for how calm Narcissa was being about the whole thing. "Dinner is about to begin, and you must both be there." We followed Narcissa back into the dining room, through the maze of witches and Wizards, and to our own seats. He was far away from me, but well within sight, and that was enough to make me happy. Once everyone had slowly taken their seats, Lucius stood up.

"This year is a rather special year," he began when all of the voices had died down. "I would like to give special recognition to a rather extravagant witch this evening. She has lived in this household for years, but not until this year has she spread her wings and revealed her beauty, her prowess. She has been an outcast here for far too long. And so, with a heart of pride, I would like to officially welcome Pippa, my daughter, to this family." Applause rang through the room and the person next to me- one of my father's friends, urged me to stand up. I stood slowly, blushing as all eyes fell on me. The cheering went on for a moment longer until finally, with one big, collective shout, I heard the words I had been longing to hear my whole life, but had never thought would come.

"Welcome to the family!"


	8. In and Out of Love

CHAPTER EIGHT

In and Out of Love

I have something to confess. Since I fell for the Dark Lord, and his most valued Death Eater- I often felt as if I would be better off dead. Don't get me wrong- I'm not suicidal, and I honestly don't want to _kill_ myself, or die at all, but... decisions have never been my strong suit. And seriously... How the hell was I supposed to decide between these two men? Leaving the Dark Lord would surely get Severus and I killed and yet _somehow_, part of me still thought it was worth it. Was that crazy? To risk my life for love? People did it in movies all of the time, but... I wondered if anyone would really, truly do it. If they would put their lives on the line for a few moments of bliss with the one they loved. And maybe, just maybe, I'd have done it too. If I weren't in love with the Dark Lord as well. I may as well have been stricken dead right here and now for saying it. It was the _stupidest_ thing I'd ever done. Hell, it was what turned my mother crazy. I tried telling myself I wouldn't follow in that crazy woman's footsteps, but I could almost feel it happening. It wasn't the Dark Lord that made me crazy, though. Not really. It was the choice I had to make.

Weighing the 'pros' and 'cons' didn't help me much. I mean, the Dark Lord was no looker, but you had to admit that he was pretty bad-ass. In a scary 'I'm going to kill all who oppose me' kind of way. Severus was gorgeous in that brooding, 'I'm a huge jerk, but underneath it all, I'm actually really compassionate' kind of way. In my eyes, they sort of evened out. The only thing that kept making me want to stay with the Dark Lord was the fact that he would seriously rip out my heart if I left him. Now that I was 'part of the family', disgracing the Dark Lord would put a rather large smudge in my family's name, and, as much as _some of them_ deserved it, I couldn't do that to them. "I really need to stop thinking about this," I told myself as I walked through Knockturn Alley. I was on a mission from God- well, from the Dark Lord, but in my mind it was pretty much the same thing. Anyways, I won't elaborate, because I don't want to ruin the ending.

So, as always, Severus appeared out of nowhere. I always hated when he did that. It was like he followed me, waiting for the perfect chance to talk to me. When the Dark Lord was away, the snake would come out to play. Seeing as he hadn't seen me yet, I tried to avoid him, but it was as if he had a fifth sense that told him where I was at all times. I hated- and loved- my confrontations with Severus. They always made me feel extremely guilty. Partly because I knew that the Dark Lord would not approve, but mostly because I felt like I was leading the love-struck wizard on. I knew we could never really be together, unless I suddenly decided that I _wanted_ to die, and take Severus along with me. I may have thought it would better if I was dead, but that didn't mean I was offering. I mean, really. I had a pretty good life out side of my man-drama.

Okay, so, back to Severus. He spotted me almost instantly, even as I tried to slip away behind some enormous oaf muttering something about having run out of 'flesh-eating slug repellent'. The two seemed to recognize each other, though they obviously did not like each other very much. Their conversation was short, and as soon as the oaf moved, Severus' eyes latched on to mine. He was so in love with me, it made me want to scream. He could love anyone else, but he had to choose me. I could love anyone else, but I had to choose the Dark Lord. And then I had to be all selfish and fall for Severus as well. I wondered if that made me some kind of 'trollop', but I figured since I was only sleeping with one of them, it was alright. Although I had imagined being with Severus multiple times. _You've no room for naughty thoughts in your head,_ I thought to myself. I had much too much to think about, and day-dreaming about what Severus looked like naked was not going to help me. But even thinking 'Severus' and 'Naked', I found the images I had fabricated in my mind came back. I wondered if he was doing the same thing in his mind, because his eyes lingered over my body much longer than any man's should. I suppose I did look rather sexy in what I was wearing- in a mysterious kind of way. I wore a thick, midnight blue cloak that hid everything- but I'm sure Severus was putting me in the many tantalizing outfits I could have been wearing under the cloak.

"You look beautiful," he complimented.

"You always say that," I replied, but my face flushed as usual.

"Because it's always true."

If it were at all possible, I flushed deeper at that. "What happened to the cold, cool professor I used to have?" I asked teasingly.

"Some blond stole his heart," he replied with a small grin. "Why? Did you fancy him?"

"I may have given him a glad-eye or two," I remarked. It felt so simple to just flirt with him, but I knew I could get in a lot of trouble if someone saw. "You know, one day we're going to get out heads panned in if we keep this up..." I said, looking around. It was Knockturn Alley, after all. You couldn't walk three feet without seeing someone who served the Dark Lord. "What are you doing here, anyway? Don't you have 'dunderheads' to watch over?"

"There was one in particular that I wanted to see."

"You saw me just last week."

It was clear by the way his eyes fell that seeing me then hadn't been enough. I knew how he felt. I wanted to be with the Dark Lord every passing moment. Lately, I had wanted the same thing with Severus as well- though I would never admit it. I didn't want to give him hope. He already had too much of that. He still thought that he could get me away from the Dark Lord, that he could somehow build a life for us. I figured love was making him delusional. "Go back to Hogwarts," I said, turning away to continue on my 'mission'. Severus didn't listen to me. Instead, he stepped up to walk beside me.

"I think they can handle a few more hours of my absence."

"I don't have a few hours to spare, Severus, I'm very busy-"

I felt him wrap his fingers around my wrist and sighed, turning to face him. "What?"

"Why are you acting so distant?"

I groaned. He was _not_ trying to have this conversation with me. "How the hell do you suppose I should act? Hm? 'Oh, Severus, I'm so in love with you that I could just die'."

"I did not ask for sarcasm."

"Yeah, well, get used to it."

"What is wrong with you?"

"With _me?!_" I said incredulously. "I'm not the one who always shows up out of nowhere like some kind of crazy stalker! So just shove off. I'm not in the mood." I tore my wrist out of his hand and began to walk away angrily. It seemed like we always got in arguments. I hated it, but I knew why it happened. We both hated hiding how we felt. It made us bitter and resentful. We always wanted to see each other, but only got angry when we did, because we both knew we would probably never get the chance to be together. It was the whole 'star-crossed lovers thing'. Screw you, Shakespeare.

"No, of course not. You're only 'in the mood' when it comes to _him_."

I turned around sharply, my dark eyes flaring with anger. "You don't know anything!"

"I know that you love me. You want me."

"_Get over it!_ We will _never_ be together, Severus! The sooner you realize that the sooner we can forget about each other and get back to our lives." I hated hurting him like that. I wanted so badly to apologize, to take back everything I'd said, but he needed to know. He needed to know that it was pointless to explore our feelings for each other. "No matter how much I love you, I will _always_ go back to the Dark Lord." I could tell that my last words had really struck a chord in him. I was using his jealousy of my relationship with the Dark Lord against him, and it made me feel sick to my stomach. I saw it start to work on him. He started to believe it- and then he looked into my eyes, and he _did_ believe it. Why shouldn't he, when even _I_ believed it? I didn't want to believe it, but I felt the truth of it weighing down on my heart. I'd only said it out of anger, but the fact that it was true frightened me.

Even through the anger and regret of this realization, I saw determination in the Prince's eyes. His eyes were calculating, as if he were forming a plan in his mind. I backed up, knowing all too well that this could go very, very wrong indeed. We could do something we would later regret- when the Dark Lord had us by our throats. He'd freak out and go all 'The Force' on us. Of course, the Dark Lord would never appreciate that joke to its full extent, so I'll keep it between those of us who watch muggle movies (being rejected by the people I lived with for eighteen years had given me _a lot_ of spare time). As Severus came towards me, another muggle movie came into mind. I was the fair-haired Johanna, trapped by Judge Turpin (though I was a tad bit more willing to be with _my_ 'judge' than Johanna), and here was Anthony, coming to steal me away. It was quite odd, actually... I almost wanted to place Severus as Judge Turpin- they looked so similar. I suppose it could work, too, if I were Lucy, but Lucy didn't want to go to Judge Turpin as much as I wanted to go to Severus...

He reached me and our lips met instantly. We disapparated mid-kiss and when I felt that we had arrived, I broke away from his kiss just long enough to take in my surroundings. We were in his house, in his room. I'd never been in his room before, but it wasn't all that different than the one he had given me when I'd lived with him. It was bigger, of course. Perhaps a bit darker. His bed was covered in gorgeous, black satin sheets. Severus saw where my eyes were looking, and, thinking that was what I wanted (which it was), he picked me up and carried me over to the bed, placing me gently on the soft sheets.

"We can't, Severus…"

"I know," he agreed, placing tender kisses along my neck.

"I'm serious," I said, although I didn't sound serious. I sounded like stopping was the last thing I wanted to do. Which, honestly, it was. He kissed me again, and I knew that I should have stopped him, but I couldn't. A part of me said that the Dark Lord would find out, and another, much more aroused part of me said 'let him'. Guiltily, I let that part win over. I didn't feel guilty for much longer.

If you've ever fallen in love, if you've ever felt like you were melting away into sweet nothing-ness, you'd know how kissing Severus Snape felt at that moment. It was as if all of my life-time goals didn't matter anymore. All of the work I'd done, all of the things I'd said- none of that mattered, because none of it existed. It was as if the sun had burst from our lips and enveloped us in its brilliance. It was as if the whole world paused to watch the perfect kiss unfold. Fortunately, it didn't actually pause, because it would have stopped dead with the way Severus was kissing me. Unlike my times with the Dark Lord, I felt no regret, no voice in the back of my head telling me it was wrong. Severus' kisses left such a taste of pure longing that even the part of me that usually ached for the Dark Lord seemed to be enthralled by them. I could only hope that he felt the same way, and seeing as his hands trembled as he began to untie my cloak, I figured he must have.

I hadn't realized I'd been trembling too until I reached up to unbutton his robes. It didn't occur to me until much later that Madonna's song 'Like a Virgin' was as true as a song could be. I mean, I hated the song, but I could appreciate the meaning. We undressed each other slowly, taking our time to memorize everything, every line, every mark, every subtle curve. In that moment, I never wanted to touch another man for as long as I lived. Time meant nothing as our bodies met, seeming to fit perfectly into place. I'd never thought that on person could be made for another before, but as he entered me, my mind shifted. Suddenly, I believed in the impossible. Any doubts that I'd ever had about anything were cast aside as Severus made love to me. I felt as if I were glowing. If I were a star, I could have blinded the world. It was in that moment that Narcissa's words came back to me. '_You have one thing Bella never had. One exception_'. I finally understood what she'd meant, what my 'one exception' was. It was my love for Severus. It was the only thing that would keep me sane.

As the defining moment came, not even the burning sensation that crawled up my arm could distract me from it, even as the pain became stronger. I can't tell you how long it all lasted, because I don't know. All I know was that as soon as it was over, the excruciating pain began to envelop me. I didn't dare to think how long the Dark Lord had been waiting. I looked over at Severus, sighing in relief- and gasping in pain- as he seemed to be fine. If the Dark Lord had called on us both, and neither of us had answered his call... Well, he was a very intelligent man. He would have put the pieces together. Severus suddenly seemed to realize exactly what was happening, and he scrambled for his wand, quickly using magic to get our clothes back on.

"Go. Quickly."

"What am I going to say?" I managed through my gasps of pain. Neither of us knew. No excuse would be good enough for the Dark Lord. He'd be furious with me, and we both knew it. Severus adopted a protective look as he found my wand and handed it to me.

"If he hurts you-"

"If he hurts me, you will do nothing!" I said, my fear for Severus dulling the pain momentarily. "You will stand by and be loyal to the Dark Lord, do you understand?" I took my wand and looked longingly as Severus. "He can hurt me all he wants, but... if he kills you... that would hurt more than any pain he could bring me." I groaned as the pain intensified again. "Promise me you won't do anything." I looked at Severus for confirmation, but he gave none. "The longer I wait, the angrier he gets. I am not leaving until you _promise me!_"

"Alright! I promise!"

"Like you mean it, Severus! Swear it!"

"I promise, even though it _kills_ me... I swear on what we've just done that I will not do anything."

I nodded and forced my tears away. "I love you." I said, before pressing my wand to my arm and disapparating.

The Dark Lord was on me in an instant. He forced me close to him and then grasped my hair in his and hand and yanked it back roughly, forcing me to look into his eyes.

"Where the _fuck_ were you that you could not answer my call?"

He didn't even let me answer before he threw me against the wall. The pain in my arm may have been gone, but I was certain the Dark Lord was going to make that feel like a pin-prick compared to what he would do to me now. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at me. All his years of torture and murder were reflected in his eyes, and I wondered if he would kill me. I knew I shouldn't do what I was about to do, that it was a terrible idea. I was more likely to get out alive if I just let him hurt me, but as he sent the first curse sparking towards me, I lashed out with my wand and threw it back at him. It took him by surprise. He had thought for sure that I would take his anger as his loyal servant. In his surprise, he barely had time to deflect, sending it across the room, which I realized was the room I had trained with him in.

"You _dare_ try and _protect_ yourself?! You're as mad as your mother! Only _she_ wouldn't be so _foolish_." He sent a flurry of curses towards me then, and, to my surprise, I managed to deflect them all with ease. I had not battled the Dark Lord since Severus had started training me, and I was happy to find that I was sufficiently better. It seemed to please the Dark Lord, too, before his anger overshadowed it. "You think you are good, Pippa, but you haven't even _begun_ to see my power!"

I cringed as the Dark Lord seemed to glow with ominous power. I was certainly no mach for him, but I was done being his puppet. Being with Severus had made me realize that the Dark Lord was indeed using me. He didn't love me, because he wasn't capable of love. He just wanted to use me. I was merely an ornament to him. Still, I felt an undeniable attraction to him, and I hated myself for it. I managed to block every one of his curses, and even send a few of my own. But, as he got angrier, his power began to build, much like mine did when I was angry. When he sent a wave of pure energy towards me, I remembered the time Severus had taught me to accept that kind of magic to make myself stronger. Keeping my expression neutral so I didn't raise any suspicions, I hit the magic back to the Dark Lord, thanking Severus under my breath as he sent it back. We did this for a while longer, and the magic began to build up nicely. Soon, I knew it was time, and I lowered my wand as the magic came at me.

I had forgotten how it felt to take in that much pure magical energy, and, though it was nothing like the way I had felt only a short while before, it still felt pretty damn good. I smiled as my skin took on the familiar glow and looked up at the Dark Lord. He looked shocked, like he'd never experienced this before. He had expected the magic to kill- or at least seriously injure me. Seeing me like that, radiating power, the Dark Lord began to fill with lust. I could see it in his eyes. However, he was a strong-willed man, and he was still very angry. Though I was sure he was thinking the same thing as I was- that this would be a great time for hot, angry sex- he attacked me again. In a way, I was thankful. I wasn't sure I could refuse him. Even though my feelings for Severus had most definitely started to overpower my feelings for the Dark Lord, the Dark Lord _had_ been my first, and I was afraid I would always have a sexual connection to him. Something I would most certainly get rid of if I could. Severus deserved all of my heart, and I wasn't so sure I could give him that. Even as those thoughts of sex entered my mind, they shifted, and I was soon thinking how wonderful it would be if Severus and I could get a little kinky-

The Dark Lord had me backed up into a corner. I'd wasted my only chance, and I could feel the magic begin to seep out of me. Now was as good a time as any to let him kill me. I only hoped he'd do it quickly, and that Severus never found out. I looked into the Dark Lord's eyes, staring bravely into the face of death.

"You are _extremely_ lucky, Black. Regrettably, you are one of the most powerful witches I know, and to kill you would be a waste… Besides, I'm not _nearly_ done with you yet." The Dark Lord kissed me fiercely, and I could feel his anger in it. He both liked and detested my defiance. He didn't know what had brought it on, and I could tell that he wasn't going to let it go. The calculating look in his eyes as he pulled away told me that he knew something was going on, and he would find out. "Remember, Pippa. You are mine." He hissed. "When we first met, you spoke of infidelity." The Dark Lord lifted his sleeve and pressed his wand to his arm. He didn't have a Dark Mark- it was the mark of his slaves- but as his wand touched his flesh, I saw the Dark Mark slowly spread across his arm. Only there was something different about it. The skull morphed, changing until I could clearly see the face of my father in its place. The mark began to morph again, this time taking on the face of my mother. I quickly realized that the Dark Lord must have been summoning my parents. I'd always thought the Dark Lord could just will his subjects to appear, and their marks would burn, but the reality was much more interesting. "Let me make it _very_ clear to you, Pippa. Infidelity is a dangerous game… and I am not as forgiving as Narcissa."

"My Lord." Bellatrix and Lucius appeared at the same time, bowing to their master. The Dark Lord grinned before turning to face the new arrivals.

"It seems that your daughter may be following a bit too closely in your footsteps. Set her straight." The Dark Lord disapparated after that, and I flinched, knowing exactly what he intended my parents to do. I knew that they would do it, too. Bellatrix's delighted cackle confirmed that. I knew Lucius would be hesitant, but he would do it, because he knew if he didn't, he would be in the same spot I was.

"You should have been smarter than to fool around, girl. The Dark Lord doesn't take kindly to being played." Bellatrix grinned wildly, waving her wand around as she spoke. "_Crucio!_" My mother let out a joyful shriek as I fell to the ground, the familiar pain causing me to cry out in agony. "How 'high and mighty' are you now?" She taunted, forcing more power into the curse as she stepped closer to me. "You think it hurts now, Piper… Just wait until _both_ of us are doing it." Bellatrix laughed wildly and I watched as my father reluctantly took his place beside her.

It was humiliating, to be tortured by my own parents. It was like the Dark Lord had chosen them specifically to make me realize that he controlled every aspect of my life. He controlled me, he controlled my parents, and he would use them against me again if I angered him. I got the message. He also controlled my lover, but he didn't know who that was, and I planned on keeping that a secret from him for a very long time. I thought back to the time when Severus had told me there was a life beyond serving the Dark Lord, there was a way to be 'good'. In a way, I wanted that life, and I wanted it with Severus. It would be so much simpler if I had been born on that side, to a kind family who could love me for me, and not just because the Dark Lord had approved of me. I wondered how many people knew about what the Dark Lord had just had my parents do to me, and it made me cringe. I'd finally been accepted, even if it was only because of the Dark Lord.

Draco only added to my humiliation, following me around whenever he saw me, taunting me about how neither of my parents loved me, how they would kill me in an instant if the Dark Lord asked. I had no doubt that Bellatrix would, but something in me hoped that my father would not. Torturing me was one thing- but killing me? Even if he tried, I was sure that Narcissa would convince him otherwise. At least, I hoped. Maybe she would vouch for the safety of her husband and her son, rather than mine. If that was true, then I was expendable to her. I was beginning to think that the only person I wasn't expendable to was Severus.

"Screw you, Forest Gump!" I suddenly shouted. Thankfully, I was alone in my room, far away from anyone else. "Life is not like a box of chocolates," I grumbled, letting myself fall back onto my bed. "It's life a forest of wild mushrooms. Sometimes it makes you fly high, sometimes you coast along the surface, sometimes it makes you delusional, and the rest of the time you just die." I didn't know what part I was at, but I assumed it was somewhere between delusional and dead.

Delusional. I hadn't come away from the torture unscathed. Whenever I saw Bellatrix or Lucius, I grew nauseous, and I could almost feel the pain they had inflicted upon me. I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up having nightmares as well, but I hadn't been able to fall asleep yet. Whenever I got close, the pain would shoot through me in a fresh wave and keep me awake. I didn't know if there was anything else different about me- it had only been about twenty-four hours. I just hoped I didn't develop a nervous tick or something. I could deal with nightmares, or nausea, but I didn't want anyone to actually be able to _see_ the affect it had on me. I was stronger than most, or at least lucky, I figured. I'd heard about people who had gone insane under Bellatrix's wand, and I was glad it hadn't gone quite that far.

Severus, as far as I knew, had kept quiet and one back to Hogwarts, which I sort of regretted. I wanted to talk to him. I needed comfort. I wanted him to sooth me, to tell me about the world of light he seemed to live in. I needed hope, or something. It felt odd. I'd never felt the need before, but now it was all that I wanted. It was actually kind of funny. I used to think that the Dark Lord could give me all that I ever wanted, but now I didn't seem to want anything he had to offer- except _him_, but I was beginning to think that I didn't want that either. I was falling for Severus harder than I would ever want to admit. I mean, I'd _hated_ the thought of men a year ago. I thought love was stupid. Okay, I still thought it was stupid, because it was probably going to get me killed, but I'd never used to think I'd actually fall in love.

"Well, I know who I want to be with now." I whispered to myself. I thought of the hell I would have to go through- and come out of- to be with Severus, and groaned. "It still doesn't make things any damn easier."


End file.
